Clearing The Mind

Chapter 6: Mood.

Gwen.

Aside from watching Julian's performances from time to time, it would be bad if it were to be said that Gwen didn't know how to make music.

Of course, just when the inspiration comes.

Gwen's apartment, West side of Manhattan.
3 months before the wedding.
Damn, she hadn't felt this feeling for a long time. The feeling of loneliness? The feeling of hopelessness?

It was April. The start of NYC's rainy seasons. While the night sky had no stars on it, the lights below on the road were shining still. The rain fell endlessly as if no end, and she struggled a bit in the cold with the thermostat out of order.

True that, if it wasn't for that, she wouldn't be back here now, anyway.

She slumped by a side of the wall in her living room, tired from work and lethargic from the thoughts in her mind.

She'd always lived as the socialite. No matter where she was, she knew that there would be someone with her, Peter, Julian, her girl friends and all, they would always be there for her.

So count it be the first time that she had to face this all on her own. At least, for a long time.

Moved to her pocket to grab a cigarette, just to realize that she had no more.

"Fuck." Some subconscious of her had her utter as she stood up from where she was slumped at.

Checked her fridge, to also realize there was close to nothing inside.

Touché, she had not been living here for some time after going to live with Peter, should've came here more often to at least clear the place more and make it feel more like a home.

She sighed.

Welp, might as well just go and take a rest and get ready for tomorrow, ey?

She wanted to stop thinking of him.
Realized that she was rather weak when she was with him.
Should've known before she found out that he had been seeing another woman.

Once as her brain clicked with the term: another woman, she threw what she was holding to the wall right in front of her.

A coaster.

She saw what she was really doing as she woke up from that trance of thought, and scolded herself.

'I shouldn't be scolding him if I could've done the same with Matt, right?'

She sighed. It was her fault. It was his.
She could probably imagine Julian saying a term like this in latin.

Amantium irae amoris integratio est.
The quarrels of lovers are the renewals of love.

To be honest, should it be used in the context that he cheated on her? Or her almost cheating on him? Probably not?

She calmed down a bit, and walked into the music room instead.

In front of her was her keyboard, an instrument that had accompanied her all the way since she was a kid.

Girl always wanted a real grand piano when she gets older. Well, a 28-year-old living alone in an apartment like that? She should buy one soon.

Tapped the keyboard on, and the screen in front of her brightened up.

Her hands gently on top of the keys, she started to play chords as she sang a song that she had loved since she was a kid.