Clearing The Mind

Chapter 16: Blink-182.

Dusk covered the skies. He woke up in a room strange to him.

3 months after the wedding.

Looking to his right, he saw a wall of glass windows. Through the windows was the beauty of the night—a crescent moon shining above a canvas of lights below. Look above and the only shining light you can see is that moon. Below her, was a silent metropolis that resonated in light. There were not many cars around the place, it was early 4 am in morning, and there were no nightlife locations in uptown.

He sat up, right beside him was a girl sleeping soundly. A girl that he'd just met for two days. A sigh of hopelessness came out from him. He knew this wasn't him. He picked up his phone in instinct, expecting a text from someone. There was none. Chuckled pathetically. It has already been 5 months since then, of course, he hasn't actually let go.

Her voicemail played on his phone. "Hey! It's Gwen. If you hear this, you know what to do."

"Gwen, come on!" He smiled a bit, even when he felt more pain. That was his voice calling out to her right before their senior prom eleven years ago. Why she'd decided to record her voicemail message signal at that time, he never asked.

"Just tell me what you want to tell me after the beep, yeah!"

Another sigh came out from him. He got out of bed and gathered his clothes to get her before wearing them. He took out a $200 dollar bill and placed it by the woman's bedstand. And with that, he left.

As he left the apartment, he took a cigarette out and started smoking with it. In his heart he wondered, he broke her. So why would she still keep that voicemail of them until now?

Maybe she hasn't realized it yet.

He sighed again. If only he knew what he was doing back then.

As said, there weren't many cars moving right now. Perhaps the occasional graveyard shift worker trying to rush his way back home after an endearing shift but aside from that, not really anyone else.

Loneliness reminded him of Gwen.

All those times they spent together, from waltzing in the living room to singing Taylor Swift songs in the shower together.

From doing simple chores to just being with each other while doing their own things.

From embracing in one other's embrace to romantically having fun in the bedroom.

He missed all of that.

If only he didn't do what he did to her.

If only he knew.

After they broke up. There weren't any more carefree hums in his head like what she used to do in the mornings. No more pork knuckle stew that she made for dinner every Thursday night. No more anime and discussion nights every Sunday night like they used to.

If he only knew what he got himself into beforehand, he probably wouldn't have done it.

Then again, what choice did he have? It was either this or he would have to sacrifice his career.

And he chose to sacrifice the one he loved.

 His phone rang and he picked it up.

"Archangel speaking, is there anything needed from me, Boss?" He spoke, his tone completely different than when he was with Gwen.

"Archangel, I need you and Moonshine to infiltrate the Busby Babes' HQ. We finally found it."

He was taken aback. The Busby Babes, named not after Matt Busby's Manchester United squad in the 50s was known as a terrorist cult that believed the more people who could leave this world of sin, the better. Weird motives, but lethal methods. 

He and his partner had been working on this operation for three years, with the Busby Babes committing serial bombings all around America and Western Europe. They had gone in and out of many of their branched locations to shut them down, even going undercover with some of these terrorists to try and know more about them.

He gagged. The word undercover still scared him.

"Where is it?"

His supervisor gave him the coordinates. "Moonshine will be waiting for you today at sunset near your apartment. You'll know what else to do."

"Yes, sir."

He kept his phone back and thought about the word undercover itself.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to join the Secret Service.

He still remembered. Being at a table that had a few higher-ups of the Babes along with his partner in one mission in North California. The fact that he and his partner had to look very convincing as a couple that wanted to join the cause, he kissed her in front of them.

Not knowing that Gwen was in that restaurant, too.

That started the downward spiral. She misunderstood the whole situation and believed in what she saw.

And he chose to let her believe in what she believed in so that she wouldn't know the truth, in case of harming her physically.

Until now, he didn't know whether what he did was the right move or not. 

If he were to let her know the truth, would she believe him?
If he were to let her know the truth, would she be able to understand that her childhood sweetheart she thought she knew wasn't what he was at all?

A tear fell from his eye. 

Yeah, he made the wrong decision not to let her know.

Fuck. He missed her a lot now.

He took his phone up and dialled another number.

(All of these were spoken by him.)

"Hello? Moonshine." He called out to her.

"Yeah, it's me. You heard the orders from the big bad wolf, right?" She spoke.

"Alright. I'll see you tonight."

He put his phone back into his pocket before finally reaching his apartment.

Shit felt so empty ever since Gwen moved away. There wasn't anyone to welcome him home now like before. The house was just pitch dark.

He turned on the lights and sat by the in-house bar he had. Took a few drinks out and mixed them together before sitting down.

As he was halfway through the drink trying not to think about her, he did and choked.

He coughed out, from the flavour of the drink to the emotions he was trying to drown away.
And the tears came.

Five months too late. His mind was now just filled with missing her.
He wanted to just turn back time and tell her the truth, but what's the use now?

And there he sat, drink in hand, face covered by the other.
Gasping for air very roughly as he tried to catch his breath in between the sobs.

The strong boy he thought he always was finally knew what loss meant now.

In another life, maybe he would've stayed with her.

A/N: Yames is back after a few months off busy xP
Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and we'll try to wrap this up pretty soon!
Peace!