We Rose Up Slowly

Chapter Twelve

Katya laid in her bed, turning, letting one of her legs out of the covers, flipping the pillow, nothing seemed to convince her body to fall asleep. Her mind was invaded by flashing images of a certain blonde moving in her seat, squished thighs, and focused burning gaze. Every time she closed her eyes she saw the eyes of the girl a few weeks ago when they fought. Simple brown eyes if you saw them from afar, but they held so much emotion. They would look different if she was mad, sad, or happy. And Katya had not quite ever seen a gaze like the one she saw tonight. A hungry, lustful stare, Katya could see the desire behind her pupils easily. She couldn't get it off her mind, not only the scenarios but the terrifying "what if's".

What if that time they fought Trixie would've kissed her? Their teeth clashing, having to drag each other inside, pulling on their clothes. Katya crossed her legs, blushing at the heat forming between her legs. This seemed so dangerous, so unknown, she had not thought about someone that wasn't Violet like this for so long. It was way more fun to fantasize about Trixie, someone unknown, a surprise. Sure, Violet was great at sex, but Katya knew all her tricks already. What if Trixie was dominant in bed? What was she into? What underwear would she wear? Pink? Light pink? Katya bit her lip, she couldn't control herself any longer.

Katya turned her body to the ceiling, no longer crossing her legs. She slid both of her hands down her torso till they reached her underwear. She hooked her thumbs and lifted her but to take them off, leaving them somewhere under the covers. Katya liked taking her time, rubbing her nipples, and teasing herself until she couldn't stand it anymore. She closed her eyes as her left hand grabbed her left boob, squeezing it. She thought about Trixie, how she would look on her knees, big brown eyes looking up. She exhaled, putting her right hand on her clit and pressing gently. Trixie would probably use her hands first, her fingers sliding between Katya's folds. Katya slid her own finger's between her own folds, pressing down. This night was gonna be a long one.

-

Trixie couldn't sleep either, her mind spiraling over the same question. Do I like women? Trixie swallowed hard at the thought popping up in her brain. She didn't understand why she was making it such a big deal, she had met and was friends with plenty of gay, bi, bisexual, lesbian, pansexual people. What was it about it being her that made it so different? She remembered the trembling words of her mother, cursing at the TV when gay marriage was legalized. Trixie was just in her seat and kept eating the food silently as her parent went nuts over such a lack of respect for god. She remembers doubting whatever words were coming out of her parent's mouths, but she would never dare to say them out loud. Trixie was taught to respect her superiors no matter what, and she had to stand by that. That also meant not letting her parent's down on her sexuality.

By the time she was ten, she had written three pages of what her dream boy looked like. He was taller than her, with light brown or blonde beachy hair. He had to have abs and strong arms to carry her after they get married. He would probably be the CEO of a company or be involved in business somehow. Trixie couldn't believe how far from that her desires were right now. She kept trying to convince herself that these were just intrusive thoughts, that this isn't actually what she wanted. But then, she had to go to the bathroom to check if she got her period, all because she had gotten wet from watching a woman being eaten out by another woman. She smiled, it was ridiculous, how she wanted to keep lying to herself. She is grown, an adult, soon to be an independent one, she shouldn't be ashamed or scared of her sexuality. 

Trixie unlocked her phone as she brushed her teeth, needing a distraction. She pressed on the stories from her mutuals, a perfect distraction. They are short and some have music, it's enough to keep Trixie busy as she brushed her teeth. She tapped through them, leaving liked in the ones that were pretty or interesting. Her eyebrows raised when Katya's face appeared on the screen, her blond hair being blown away by the wind. Then she doubled-tapped the screen, changing to the back camera and showing Bob and both of their coffees. Trixie smiled without realizing it, and in a rush of courage, she liked the story.