We Rose Up Slowly

Chapter Eighteen

"Hi?" Trixie said, with a huge bag next to her, now on the floor.

"And you! You fucking brat." Katya started walking towards Trixie. "You think you get to do what you want to people, that you can come here, fuck around, and then leave."

"Katya, I-"

"No! You're so entitled and so fucking selfish," Katya pointed at Trixie, almost touching the blonde's chest. "We aren't all empty inside, you know that right? For some of us, sex does mean something."

"Katya," Bob tried to reach the woman's arm.

"No! I'm tired, I'm so fucking tired, why do I gotta do all the work all of the time." Katya said to Bob. "When will you ever take the wheel and just say that you like me!" Katya said to Trixie, her finger finally landing on the woman's chest.

"I was about to," Trixie said without any expression on her face. 

"It's too late, Trix." Katya started crying.

"Why?" Trixie's eyes softened, doubting putting her hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"You crossed the line," Katya said, closing her eyes.

"Should I go?" Bob mouthed, "Yes" Trixie mouthed back. Bob quickly walked behind Trixie and Katya, opened the door, and left.

"You've done it too many times," Katya continued.

"What?"

Katya opened her eyes, furrowing her brows, annoyed. "The coming back and leaving, you abused it."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not enough," Katya's glassy eyes looked at Trixie with disappointment. "You treated me like I was worthless, all this time I thought it was something wrong with me, but, it was you, you were the one hurting me."

"I didn't mean to," For the first time, Katya's heard Trixie's voice break like this. "Fuck, I hate this." 

Katya sat down, her back against the white wall, Trixie followed, sitting right beside her.

"You were out there, going to parties, staying at Kim's, on top of the class." Katya locked eyes with Trixie. "I was wondering when you'll come back here."

Although neither of them would like to admit so, they had grown fond of each other. Hard not to when you're living with someone. They cared about each other, maybe one more than the other. Katya showed it more bluntly, hoping to get the same or even more back, but when that didn't happen, her bubble of bliss popped. Trixie liked the feeling, loved it, but it was unknown, and the unknown scares the shit out of humans, she learned that in psychology. So she ran away, she tried to convince herself that she didn't. After having a long talk with Kim, she understood the power of opening up and facing your own emotions. She wished she had understood sooner.

"I was only trying to distract myself, Kat, I never lived my best life." Trixie paused. "That isn't the life I truly want."

"What life do you want?"

"I... don't know yet."

"You could've at least left no victim behind in your process," Katya said with clear anger.

"I know, I didn't know better, I mean, a part of me did, the part of me that comes out when I'm with you." Trixie pressed her lips. "I was scared of it, I tried to hurt you so you left, but you kept coming back, so I saw no other way than to leave myself."

"But why? You don't seem scared of yourself, or what people say about you."

"I do, sometimes." Trixie trailed off, her eyes traveling around the apartment. "My parents are raging homophobes, it felt like betraying myself, and my family."