I hate what I see in the mirror

another pointless day

[Author's note: this story contains blood, rape, self-harm, violence and more if you are trigger by any of these please find another story to read that suits you better other then that enjoy!]

(Tobi/Kakashi and most other teachers are around 25 to 30.
Kurama/Shisui are 20 and 23.
Itachi is 18
Sasuke/Naruto and most other students are 15 to 16
Most parents are in their 40's or with a few early 50's)

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It was another normal day at Konoha high. It was early Friday morning and most of the students were just now waking up and getting ready to leave their dorms.
Sasuke's heavy eyes opened but then closed again as the 15 year old rolled over in his bed.

Sasuke POV-

Dammit I don't even get a good night's sleep anymore. The whole night I was up and down with nightmares and now I feel even more shitty than normal, just great. They were horrid too. Looming shadows, screeching voices, glaring eyes, the feeling of panic. My heart was racing and my mind swirled in a mess. I decided to get up and clear my head. So I went to the small bathroom attached to my room. I walked in and rinsed my face off in the sink to see if it would help any, I didn't. I looked up into the mirror as the water ran down my face. My thin, pale, ghostly face. With my dark, dead eyes. Dammit. I hate mirrors. I always have. The only thing they do is remind me of the thing I hate most... myself.

I felt my brain starting to fog up, this was never good. If I didn't do something the voices would come back. Those horrid, cruel, voices. I quickly started to shuffle through one of the drawers under the sink. I soon found what I was looking for; a small raze. I had broken it off of one of my shavers about two years ago, when I first started to cut. I sat on the floor with my back against the side of the bathtub. I held up my arm out in front of me so I could see exactly what I was about to do. Taking the small razor I ran it sideways across my arm. A small streak of red chased after it then began to drip down towards my elbow. I did this three more times till I felt that my mind was again grounded to reality. I leaned my head back against the edge of the tub and let out a few shaky breaths.
"Take that you ugly fucker!!"
I mumbled under my breath. I was talking to myself and honestly it felt right to hear those kind of words said to me. It felt normal. I always heard them, weather from my father or from the voices in my head. They all said it so it must be true. I don't know when the voices started but I don't have the energy to try and figure it out. Heck I barely have the energy to get out of bed each day.

After a moment I got off the ground and put on one of my thick, black hoodies to cover all my scars. I had many scars, I mean really at this point my wrists looked deformed from all my cutting. I need to go back to doing it on my thighs but they too are heavily scared. Maybe I should start doing it on my stomach? I've never done it there so maybe.
I thought as I stumbled down the stairs to the living room and kitchen.

My dad had sent me away to a very expensive boarding school a long time ago. After our mom died when I was five our dad changed. He started drinking and doing other bad things and started to do some really weird things to one of my big brothers, you see I have three. Tobi the oldest, he's nearing his 30's now. Or at least he should be. I haven't heard from him in years.He ran away soon after he was 18, leaving without even saying goodbye. Or so I was told. My dad says he abandoned us, that he doesn't love us anymore. I haven't heard from him in years but I know he still loves us, I know what father says isn't true. At least I think I do.
The second oldest is Shisui, he's in his mid 20's. He moved out only a few years ago and even though he hates our dad he follows dad's rules, even when he's away, so that dad doesn't cut him off from me and Itachi. Itachi... He's maybe 18-19'ish? I really don't know, I haven't been home in years. He's the one my dad's a little weird with. My dad refuses to let him move out and forced him to drop out of school and work with him in the police department. Itachi does every little thing my dad says without complaint but I know he's not happy. I hated being around dad and having to watch all the weird things he does to Itachi. I was sent away when I was five and here I am as miserable as ever. In the middle of Kami knows what city with this creepy ass roommate of mine. Kami I'm so glad he's leaving. He's a few years older than me and has already graduated so he's finally moving out of my dorm.