I hate what I see in the mirror

Finally going home for a break pt.3

Naruto's POV:

I stood in the doorway, looking back at my room. It looked so empty without all my stuff. Sighing I picked up my last box and went down stairs. The last few days practically flew by and Saturday was already here. It was about 12 pm now and we have to leave soon if we want to make it home before sundown. Since it was a four hour drive to my place, plus dropping Sasuke off was another half hour drive. As I made it to the bottom of the steps with my box in hand, I could see Sasuke sitting on the couch with his stuff on the floor by his feet. I stood there for a moment, just looking at him. I didn't want him to be taken away, but I don't have a choice. I put the box with the rest of my stuff on the kitchen counter, then went over to Sasuke. He didn't seem to notice me, or maybe he did, but simply didn't have the energy to react. He was holding the plushy I got him on his lap, absentmindedly fiddling with its ears, his eyes staring far away. I sat down next to him with a heavy sigh.
"Well that's the last of it."
I said. He nodded, still not looking away from whatever nothing he was staring at.
"Hey!"
I called, putting my arm around him and rubbing his shoulder. He finally turned his head to look at me with tired eyes.
"We'll be alright."
He nodded again, nuzzling his face into my neck. Even though I said that, there was no way I could guarantee it. And as confidently as I said it, I wasn't sure I believed it. I don't know who I was trying to convince more. Myself. Or him. I hugged him tighter, not wanting to let him go, and he hugged me with the same desperation.

*buzz buzz*

Looking down at my phone on the coffee table, its screen flashed with an alarm. 12:15 time to start loading things up. I frowned, looking down at Sasuke who still clung to me. Silencing my phone I then shoved it into my pocket, and returned to holding my Sasuke. After a moment he pulled away, wiping away a tear before it fell.
"We need to get going."
He said, looking at the floor.

"Yeah."
I agreed but neither of us moved. Silence filled the room as he looked at the floor and I looked at him. Slowly reaching over I laid my hand over his. I wanted to say something, but he broke the silence before I could.

"When I first came here."
He mumbled, looking down at our hands.
"I was sure... that I would die here."
My heart clenched at his words. I swallowed hard, keeping quiet to let him talk.
"I didn't care."
He continued, intertwining our fingers.
"It hurt and I just wanted it to end... I never imagined a life without pain, I could see no future in which I was happy. I assumed death... death would be the happiest feeling for me."

"Sasuke-"
I choked out. I didn't like hearing him talk like this. It scared me.

"Naruto~"
He lifted his eyes to mine, a smile on his lips.
"Thank you."
He dropped his head on my shoulder.
"Thank you for everything. I want... I want you to be happy, the way you've made me happy, even if I'm not here."
I held back a tear that threatened to fall as I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close.

"Don't talk like that. Sasuke you promised we'd see each other again and you'd be fine! Don't start talking like this now!"

"I promised"
He nuzzled closer to me.
"I promised to see you again. I know. But I can't control everything and I don't know what's waiting for us. So please don't be mad that I'm prepared for the worst."
I tightened my grip. He was making me nervous. I didn't like the sound in his voice. He sounded sad and yet at peace with whatever outcome the future holds. It was ripping me in two.

"Sasuke, please!"
I grit my teeth as a tear escaped my eyes.
He pulled away to look at me, his face paled as he saw my wet cheek.

"Naruto~"
He cupped my cheeks, wiping the tear away with his thumb. He leaned his forehead against mine.
"I promise... to do whatever I can... to stay by your side."
I rested my hands over his.

"That's all I'm asking of you."
Was all I said.
The alarm on my phone went off again, startling us both. We pulled away and Sasuke stood to his feet, the plushie falling to the ground.

"We should go."
He said. Sighing I nodded and stood as well.

"Come on then, let's get our stuff in the car."
Picking up one of his boxes I headed for the door, and he did the same. It didn't take long for us to get everything in the trunk. As we reached the door for the last time, I opened it, looking at my last box on the counter. My eyes glanced at Sasuke who stood at my side. He thought of staying with the car, since there was only one box left and it was mine, but I insisted that I wanted him to walk with me. I didn't want to wast even a single moment with him.
I tucked the small box under my arm and took Sasuke's hand with the other. We walked outside and I watched solemnly as he closed the door behind us. One day! One day I'll buy us a house, one that we can live in together, and always be happy.
The walk was quiet. Not awkward, but not peaceful either, even the air seemed to be tens. We both made our way there slowly, neither of us wanting to, but knowing there was no use in stopping. We made it there, I put my box in the back seat, Sasuke got himself situated in the passenger side with his plush, and I was making my way around the car. I sat in the drivers seat and started the car then stopped.
"What if we just drive off to never land?"

"Naruto!"
Sasuke snapped.

"We wouldn't even grow old!"
He rolled his eyes at me, a smile threatening the edges of his lips.

"Just drive you dobe."
He playfully hit my arm. I chuckled slightly at his expression before turning to pull out of the parking space. Now the drive has officially started, we have four hours. Make them count I guess.

A/N- sorry for the short chapter! This chapter and the next one we're supposed to be one chapter but I was struggling so much and it was taking so long I was just like fuck it let me get something out to them. Very very sorry I'll try to do better!