Don't Waste Your Candles On Me

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The lavish parties at the eve of celebrations were the stars on birthday cakes. The countdowns were unsuspected by the birthday celebrant until someone graced delicate hands over their eyes. Vision obscured for a small moment in order for fireworks to explode when they once again see what's before them. The spills of greetings from people they haven't talked with for a year long, the icing to a midnight of another year. And with the halt of such things because of the shadow of the pandemic, it was one thing many missed.

He was someone who recharged in the presence of peers. Other people's energies gave him life and stardust. But he insisted on a quiet birthday this year. "No surprises or gifts or any dinners, it's not what I want for this year." Is it peculiar for Adonis to long for these celebrations yet dismiss any idea of having one? Maybe it was him growing old, wherein years don't turn into wiser oaks but rather tired saps of emptying storages.

He was officially a year older, or so does the calendar say. And this time, there are no alarms but a silence ready to embrace his slumber. And as he sunk into the soft duvet underneath his cold body, all he wanted was for the day to pass. To make it another Monday of comeback preparations and nothing more. But the world wasn't ready for him to erase the day, not when so many remember that this day was his.

 But the world wasn't ready for him to erase the day, not when so many remember that this day was his

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Many sent love online with banners, words, and joy. Things he wanted to respond to but in his current headspace, it was a quicksand against it. And only one person could ease his silent panic and pull him out of the tempting rest. Vernon with a song underneath his breath as he entered the birthday prince's room. "Happy Birthday to my prince." The birthday song is a repeating international anthem that is washed by the shores of repetition. But it was enchanting in his quiet whisper, at least for Adonis. "Is that cheesecake? Is that why you didn't buy me cheesecake last practice?"

In the eyes of his lover, he was so beautiful. Nothing about him aged, at least in Vernon's eyes. The glimmer of the boy he fell for was so radiant even in his most unlikely moments of silence. And he wanted nothing more but to see his breath take a wish for the fates to hear. "Just make a wish, you baby." Many years, he stood with his members as Adonis' blew the lights out. But as selfish as he may sound, he was glad it was only him as witness for 2022. The flame tried to filter his skin but it only tanned to a shade of hero. A prince worthy to be sculpted into history and offered with sacrifices. And the lights might've closed but Vernon's hands moved to caress his cheeks. Even in the dark, Adonis was a masterpiece to him. When the world would extinguish its flame and succumb into an abyss, he knew that he'd still sense his boyfriend's beauty.

"What did you wish for, babe?" They did not need to see each other to maneuver in each other's embrace

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"What did you wish for, babe?" They did not need to see each other to maneuver in each other's embrace. The cake easily slid on the bedside table, no tilt nor fear for its spill because Vernon memorized its surface by touch solely. And as he did that, Adonis pulled against his waist, ready to fall into the warmth of the lyricist. The bed is a bit small for two people in general, but perfect for the boyfriends somehow. "It's supposed to be a secret, Vernon."

They settled in for the night, in hugs and tangled legs. The birthday boy easily falls into his arms, ears keenly listening to the beat of Vernon's heart. A rhythm he won't forget despite the changes of its pace from time to time. "I'm just saying, if it's about me, don't waste your candles on me." It was a confident statement, to assume that a candle would light out for you. But that was how assured the two were of each other. In every waking day, even if it's an unconscious thought, the other lingers not only in the mind but also the heart and every sense. "You want to know why?" Vernon's voice only speaks to him, a whisper directly to his ear. The space between his lips and the prince's ear were extinguishing by the minute as they moved closer to each other. "Because I'm with you all the way, no need for shooting stars or birthday candles or even a prayer."

"Happy Birthday, Adonis."

"

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