Our Redemption

I Have to Tell You Something

Since officially announcing the pregnancy I've been inundated with interview and photoshoot requests and I've done one or two but I'm also currently doing a show on the West End. Andrew and I are meeting up with Jamie and Amelia for lunch and we're spend some time at their house with the kids. We're on our way there and I decide to tell Andrew what the doctor told me "Andy" I say "Yes Aura" he says "I have to tell you something" I say "Okay go ahead" he says "The doctor told me that my egg count is low and that getting pregnant again naturally may be difficult for me" I say "So we'll do IVF or get a surrogate or adopt. We will have other children whether their our blood or not and I have faith that we have more kids ourselves screw science and what some doctor said" he says "You're right" I say "We'll have this baby and then focus on what comes next" he says "I love you" I say "I love you too" he says.

We've had lunch and the kids are now playing with Doc in the garden as we watch from inside "It's weird isn't it looking back to a couple of years ago us in LA living together single trying to make it and now most of us are married with kids or engaged with a baby on the way. It's mad" Jamie says "I hoped to get to this point in my life but I didn't expect my career to take off like it did and that the dreams I had of Aurora being my wife and the mother of my children would come true" Andrew says "This conversation got very deep very quick so we'll leave you two to ponder the meaning of life whilst Amelia and I go look at these clothes she has for me" I say.

Whilst we're upstairs going through the baby clothes Amelia kept from her kids I talk to her about the doctor and what she said "I wouldn't worry too much. You and Andrew are destined to have more kids than one I know it you seem like one of those couples who will have like four or five kids" she says "I was an only child and Andrew had Ben but when I moved here Ben became the brother I never had and they made me a part of their family so I guess I've always wanted a big family so my child would never feel that loneliness I felt" I say "Makes sense but adoption is always an option" she says "We know that it's just I guess I can't help blaming myself I was pregnant before lost it and now I'm pregnant again and I might not be able to again" I say "I think as women we blame ourselves for not being able to do the thing people expect us to do which is have kids but we can't do that because it's not our fault and so what if a woman can't give birth to her own kids she's still a mum blood or not" she says "Thanks Amelia I needed this little pep talk "Your welcome. Now do you think our husbands are done pondering the meaning of life" she says "Hopefully" I say and we head back downstairs and luckily the men in our lives have stopped questioning their entire careers and life choices.

I finish up the shows on the West End and then we decide to do some baby shopping. Even though we've got some hand me downs from Amelia and other friends with kids we still need things like a car seat and a buggy and furniture for the nursery. We're doing this now because we both have a busy few months coming up and Andrew will be away up until near the end of my pregnancy but my dad and Andrew's have agreed to help with any furniture building I need whilst he's away even though neither are very DIY inclined. We're walking around the store and we have no idea what we're doing and the only thing we've picked up is some cute soft toys for a nursery that has nothing in it "First time parents" one of the workers says "That obvious" I say "Your not the first one we've had in here. What are you guys looking for" she says "Everything" Andrew says and she laughs "Do you know what your having" she asks "No we have this idea that we want the nursery which will probably eventually become their bedroom as this kinda woodland whimsical safe space we want them to have a cosy corner to read in when their older things like that. My dad is an architect so he's got us the best people to paint it but we didn't want to pass off the part of buying everything to someone else even though it might of been easier" I say "I completely understand why don't we start with cribs and then move on to the bigger things like car seats and buggies last" she says "Thank you" he says.

As she's helping us we notice a few people watching us and sneaking photos but she doesn't seem to realise who we are until we go to pay for everything and we have to give our address and name for the delivery and Andrew and I go to pay and she sees the name on the credit card "Your Andrew Garfield aka Spiderman I loved your movies which means your Aurora Moore I've seen you in Mamma Mia and on the West End like four times" she says "I look a little different out of costume and he looks different without the red and blue spandex doesn't he" I say and she asks for a photo which we happily oblige. By the end of the shopping trip once we've picked up a few blankets and muslins and other things like that I'm feeling much better about everything and more prepared for what's to come.