When the Flower Falls (Fitzmael 7) - COMPLETED

31: The Moment I Knew

WHEN WE GOT TO THE UNIT, I immediately took him to the bathroom. He suddenly threw up and rushed to the toilet. I kept a hand on his back, rubbing slow circles. "Can you take a shower?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I'm about to kill myself and you still want me to shower?"

I let out a sigh and rolled my eyes. I grabbed the shower hose and aimed it straight at his face.

"What the hell?!" he hissed. "Are you doing this on purpose?"

"You loved the rain earlier, didn't you? And now you're complaining about a shower?" I directed the water over his body. After a while, I set the hose down in front of him. "There. I can leave you now. Get dressed on your own," I said before walking out.

I COULDN'T SLEEP. I DIDN'T want to go home, and I didn't want to bother any of the staff to watch over him. He was my responsibility. I didn't want anyone else to carry that burden.

I read a book, trying to lull myself to sleep. I was startled when I noticed the sky slowly growing brighter. I turned when I heard footsteps.

I looked at him without emotion. "Are you going to try killing yourself again?"

"It's none of your business."

I sighed. "Don't..." The words felt heavy. "Don't do it again."

"It's easy for you to say that."

He was right. I had never been in their position. I would never fully understand them.

I cleared my throat. "You can hate me all you want, but I'm not going to let you die. Not here. Not on my watch." I met his eyes and swallowed. "I won't allow myself to do nothing. Even if you don't realize it, I know you need help."

I kept my gaze on him. "But to be clear, I'm not here to fix you, Mr. Whoever-You-Are." I raised a brow and crossed my arms. "I'm only here to stop you from killing yourself. You'll still have to do your own work to heal from your wounds... And maybe... one day... you'll thank me," I added before standing up and gently tapping his shoulder. "We don't know what will happen in the coming years, but if you want to be free from the pain you're feeling, you have to work for it. And you should start with yourself."

There was a pang in my chest when I saw him grow emotional. "You're crying," I mumbled, wiping his cheek. "You should sleep. Go back to your unit."

"Tsk!" he hissed before walking away.

I'll take care of you, Mr. Fitzmael.

"SUGARPLUMS..." KYLER SAID AS he opened a jar filled with sugarplums Dad had made himself.

I stared at it for a long time before shaking my head. "I'm full."

"Okay." He set the jar in front of me before leaving. "I'll head out for a bit."

Once Kyler left, I picked up the jar. A small smile formed on my lips. So Dad knew this was my favorite. He even took the time to make and fill a whole jar. I walked outside the resort to eat the sugarplums when I saw him standing there, lifeless, staring at the ocean. My chest tightened with every step I took toward the shore, but I brushed it off. I didn't want anyone to see my weakness.