"You will be my first and last too..."
Of all the promises I made, this is the only one I kept. When someone tries to get close, I push them away. My heart learned the lesson too well.
I had the best with you. No one could ever come close. Maybe that is the problem. I keep comparing everyone to a memory that never grew old.
I keep thinking about that moment in the restroom. I was frozen behind the door, listening as those girls laughed and tore me apart. Every word clung to me like smoke.
I told myself I didn't care. But I carried it home. It stayed with me.
The voices in my mind became louder than your love. They told me you only loved me because I was young, that you would leave, that I wasn't truly your choice. And I believed them.
I doubted you. I doubted us. I doubted myself.
I left before you could prove them wrong. I thought it would hurt less. But it didn't. Leaving you didn't save me. It only taught me how to survive without you.
A decade has passed. Ten years. And I am still here, in the place I left you. The world moved on. I did not.
I know you have a wife. Children. I have seen the way you look at her. The way you used to look at me.
And it hurts.
You deserve that love. The kind that stays. The kind that does not run away.
Sometimes I wonder if she is everything I was not.
Stronger.
Braver.
Certain.
I think she is. And I am glad she exists, even if it shatters me. She gave you the life I was too afraid to build.
I never loved anyone else after you. Not because I could not, but because I refused to. Loving someone else felt like erasing you, pretending you were just a chapter, when you were the whole story I never finished.
Every day I carry the weight of what I did. To you, to us. Every night I replay it, searching for the moment I could have chosen differently.
I am the reason it ended. The reason we did not last. The reason you had to move on without me.
How do I forgive myself? How do I let go of a love I destroyed?
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When the Flower Falls (Fitzmael 7) - COMPLETED
Romance[TRIGGER WARNING: Violence, Strong Language, Mental Health Themes] Ren has never been interested in having a girlfriend, and that's exactly how he likes it. Those who know him see him as a perennial flower, always blossoming with energy and life. He...
