Secrecy (Hosie)

Part 26: Desire

Today is the Friday following the incident at Whitmore College, when Hope ruined the memoirs which spoke ill of her father. Freya is the only family member she's come clean to about it. Alaric and her friends at the Salvatore school know what she did, but they pretty much seem unfazed by it now.

Josie tries not to pry, but she has been thinking a lot about Hope's involvement in the abrupt ending to the author's career. Josie wants to know why Hope would risk getting caught just to keep that book from being published.

How is it that Josie can read Hope as well as a book, like she's completely transparent under her gaze, but she also feels like Hope is a mystery, her actions unable to be predicted and her life, as Josie knows it, only a half-written story?

It's exciting and frustrating at the same time, like reading a foreign language but understanding it's meaning. Hope is so vulnerable and genuine, but she's also resilient and ambiguous.

As Josie learns more about Hope, her love grows, but her questions also multiply.

The way Hope talks, it's like a thousand years worth of wisdom has been instilled in her. The way she loves, like she's afraid to lose. The way she protects, as if she owes a debt. The way her eyes show her emotion, but only to those who have learned to decipher them.

As much as Josie knows about Hope, she knows there's more to learn. Hope is more willing to give Josie pieces of insight into who she is when it's just the two of them, but they haven't had much of any alone time since Hope transferred to the Salvatore School. Josie thought that Hope enrolling would mean they got more alone time, but it seems that all of their friends also wanted to spend more time with Hope. Josie can't blame them, Hope has a certain charisma about her. It's magnetic and enrapturing. She has a presence that is so powerful and intoxicating, it's what drew Josie to her in the first place.

Josie turns her head to admire her girlfriend, who is sitting next to her at the lunch table, talking to Cleo across from her. This has been their daily routine, the whole squad having lunch together each day between classes. Hope, Josie, Lizzie, MG, Raf, Cleo, Kaleb, Jed, and Wade. For lunch, to hang out in the afternoons, sometimes party together on weekends. As much as Josie loves being with everyone, she can sense that Hope wants alone time just as much as she does.

When Cleo turns to talk to Kaleb, Josie takes the opportunity to take Hope's hand and lean a bit closer to her, "Why don't we have a date tonight? It's been a while since we've had an evening to ourselves."

Hope gives Josie a warm, loving smile, "I think that's the best idea I've heard in weeks. What did you have in mind? We can do anything you want, you name it."

Josie's eyes dart down to Hope's lips. She can't help where her mind goes, they haven't been able to have a night alone together since winter break, and it's almost March now. They're interrupted by their friends wanting to hang out every time they think they have a moment alone.
Josie knows that Hope can practically read the thoughts running through her head right now.
She turns to the other end of the table, looking at her sister, "Lizzie, can you cover for me tonight with dad?"

Lizzie looks confused, "Why? Where are you going?"

"Hope's house. Please?"

"Ooh, I wanna come, Hope can I—" Lizzie's mouth shuts when she sees Josie's expression, telling her without telling her why she wants to go to Hope's, "You know what? Forget I asked. Sure, I'll cover for you." She then proceeds to whisper under her breath, though loud enough for literally everyone at the table to hear, "Horny ass teenagers."

Josie pinches the bridge of her nose, trying to hide the blush rising to her cheeks. The thoughts that continue to swarm her head make her blush even more, thinking about the evening to come with Hope. She knows that the rest of the group has divided into their own conversations at this point, but she can still feel Hope's eyes on her, knowing exactly what's on Josie's mind and it's effect on her.