Secrecy (Hosie)

Part 35: Dissolution

One week later...

If it weren't for Rebekah's updates on Hope, Josie would've been completely in the dark for the past week. She hasn't heard from the other girl since the night they found Roman's body in her house.

The whole squad reached out to her several times, but she's only responded one time, sending a simple 'Don't worry about me,' text to Raf.

Josie understands why Hope is being so distant with them, but that doesn't make it any easier.

Rebekah tells Josie that Hope hasn't been sleeping or eating much, hasn't really left her room either. When she does leave her room, it's to go out into the woods to visit Roman's grave or to fight an invading monster.

Hope's family wanted to come stay with her, but she refused, even tried pushing Rebekah away.

——
Roman's death confirmed Hope's fears, and she blames herself for putting him in danger.
That's why she can't bring herself to selfishly respond to Josie or their friends anymore. Every time she speaks to them, she's risking their safety, and she can't handle seeing another one of her loved ones lifeless.

She finally slept for a few hours last night, only to be woken up abruptly from a nightmare, which was practically just her memory.
She walks into her living room, seeing Roman on her couch facing the opposite direction, toward the fireplace. She calls to him, but he doesn't respond. She walks over to his body, stepping in front of him to see his desiccated and bloody appearance. Eyes open as if they are staring right at her, but they're lifeless. His jaw slack as if he's about to speak to her, but no sound is emitted.
That part is an exact reenactment of her memory, every detail so vivid in her mind. The next part isn't exactly from memory, but rather her own mind tormenting her, reminding her that this is all her fault.
She cries out as she steps closer to the body, looking to the large, bloody wound in his chest. When she lifts her hand to reach out toward him, she's holding the stake which killed him, the blood dripping from it and her hand.
And that's when she woke up, feeling panicked and even more guilty than before.

Rebekah was startled awake by Hope, since she still sleeps in her room at night. She helped calm Hope back down and asked her if she wanted to talk about the nightmare, but Hope declined.

She couldn't go back to sleep after that, she didn't want to, if it meant she'd have to relive that moment all over again.

When she sees the sun beginning to shine through her windows, she says a muting spell and slips out of the room, trying not to wake Auntie Bex.
She slides on some shoes and a coat before leaving the house and making her way toward the edge of the woods, the same routine she'd followed many times this past week. Each time, she tries to ignore the second grave not too far away, the one that holds the body of the Triad werewolf she killed.

She lowers herself to the ground, sitting on her knees as she says a spell to revive the flowers laid there, since they practically froze during the night.

She loses track of time as she clears leaves from on top of the grave, runs her fingers over the tombstone she created days ago, sits and thinks.

Eventually, she hears footsteps of someone approaching her, and it gruesomely reminds her of the footsteps approaching her last week, belonging to the man she murdered.

She's brought out of her thoughts by Bex's voice, "Hope," She hears a few more steps before they come to a halt right behind her. She hears Rebekah take a pitiful breath, "you're at Roman's grave again."

It's more of a statement than a question, but Hope replies regardless, "Yeah."

Rebekah watches as her niece's head falls in shame after her eyes dart toward the other grave a short distance away. She clears her throat, feeling the sharp breeze hit her skin, and she knows Hope must be cold out here, "It's time for breakfast, love."