Secrecy (Hosie)

Part 61: Trenches

After sharing a great meal together and joking and laughing for what feels like hours, the Saltzman's and Mikaelson's all sit around in the great room, cozy on the couches and chairs, a few even scattered on the floor with the crackling sound of wood burning in the fireplace.

And it's great.

Everything is great.

But there's a bittersweet air surrounding the group, as the past few minutes have gone by with them bringing up fond memories of Raf, times that he'd shown up at the safe-house to stay with Hope, times they skipped class at Mystic Falls High to grab a milkshake, the times they'd practice football in the hallways after school hours, and so much more.

And Hope is mostly laughing and smiling at the memories, but there's a flicker of pain each time a new memory is brought up. But she tries to ignore it.

"And then the time when he broke the lamp that morning after the party at..." Lizzie's words fade as Hope frantically shakes her head for her not to spill about that. Her family didn't know she threw that party, "...at that place—with the—lamp."

Hope and Josie both internally facepalm at Lizzie's clear failure at a cover, and Hope receives a raised eyebrow from Rebekah, a muffled laugh from Kol, and a scold from Freya, "You threw a party at the safe house?"

Hope hesitates before answering, "It was a small gathering—"

"Hope."

"Fine, yes, I threw a party," When Freya shoots her a look of growing disapproval, she's quick to defense, "But we were completely safe and responsible the entire time, and Raf and I obviously cleaned up well because none of you noticed."

Freya sighs, dismissing the conversation for a later time, while Lizzie doesn't exactly read the room, and she continues to talk about that night, "Wait, isn't that the night you asked Josie to be your girlfriend?"

Hope grins and nods as Josie blushes and squeezes her hand.

"You know, I made a bet with Raf that night that you two would make things official. I got 5 bucks, thanks to you two."

"Happy to help," Josie sarcastically replies to her sister.

Their families find it funny, and Hope does too for a moment, but then the bittersweet feeling at the mention of her late best friend just turns...bitter.

She zones out for the next few minutes, as the group continues on into a new topic. But her mind won't relieve her of thoughts surrounding the lost.

If anyone notices the sudden distance in her eyes and demeanor, they don't address it.

But Josie keeps glancing over at her, noting that she's suddenly withdrawn, no longer laughing or smiling, not engaged at all.

And Josie knows without a doubt that she's in pain. Not necessarily physical pain, though the aching in her heart almost feels tangible at this point.

Not to mention she's exhausted from everything that's happened recently.

Josie watches as Hope tugs at the hem of the shirt she wears, and then she realizes,

Hope's wearing one of Raf's shirts.

Josie can see Hope's eyes are a darker blue than usual, like a sky shadowed by an oncoming rain storm. It's the same blue that Josie notices any time Hope is trying to fight a feeling of deep sadness.

Another stage of grief, a wave crashing into her roughly, a sudden feeling like she's being pulled under the surface, drowning in an endless fight for life to prevail over death. A depression deeper than the ocean trenches.

And she's just begging to keep her head above water, to find a calm in the storm, or for the storm to just stop altogether.

Josie doesn't realize she's also tuned out the conversation until Lizzie addresses Hope again, not realizing that neither of them had been listening to their conversation, "Wait Hope, when did you tell Raf you're a Mikaelson?"

Though Lizzie has no intention of the question hurting Hope, Josie knows it does when her jaw tightens briefly before she responds, "I told him after Roman came to see me at the Salvatore School."

Josie knows that response for Hope must've felt like two punches straight to the gut, a reminder of not only one, but two of the people she's lost.

After that, there's silence. Not awkward. But not comfortable either.

It's unsteady.

Hope feels unsteady in her conflicting emotions. The larger part of the group respectfully giving her a second in the stillness to possibly process them. Perhaps it's even a moment of silence for the lost ones mentioned.

Josie's quiet for another reason. She's still carefully studying Hope's every expression.

And when she sees that Hope is practically forcing herself to stay in place and not shed a tear, Josie squeezes her hand, gaining the attention of the girl under her intense gaze.

When Hope finally locks eyes with her, Josie gives her a weak smile as an idea comes to her.
She stands to her feet, holding a hand down to help Hope up from her spot, "Come with me."

Hope furrows her eyebrows, a little confused, but takes Josie's hand anyway, desperate for any escape from her own thoughts.

No one questions the two as they exit the room.

Hope is even more confused when Josie guides her all the way to the ballroom, "Jo, what are we doing?"

Josie turns around to face her when they're in the middle of the room, offering her other hand to Hope as she answers, "Dance with me?"

Hope, though still confused and clearly hurting, smiles wearily with a small laugh of amusement, "There's no music."

"I'm sure we'll find our own rhythm."

Hope's smile grows at that, and she takes Josie's hand.

Josie pulls her close by the waist, while Hope presses further into her front, leaning her head on Josie's shoulder as they sway to some unknown rhythm, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything."

Josie plants a sweet kiss to Hope's temple, holding onto her tighter around the waist, "I love you."

"I love you too."

And they stay like that, wrapped up in each other, in the middle of the ballroom, barefoot in their t shirts, dancing to the rhythm of their synced heartbeats.