Secrecy (Hosie)

Part 32: Distance

After convincing a reluctant Alaric to let her distance herself from the school, stay away until they can find more information to help with their monster problem, Hope makes her way back to her room.

She opens her door to see Josie still on her bed, reading her book as she leans against the headboard. She hasn't been out too long, but she didn't expect Josie to wait for her, "I didn't think you'd still be here." Hope shuts the door behind her before making her way to sit at the foot of the bed.

Josie sighs as she shuts her book and sets it on the nightstand, "Well, I wanted to make sure you're okay. You've been distant all day, and you seemed even more anxious when Roman showed up. I know he's been helping dad for a while with recruiting. Mom told me he's your ex..."

Hope nods slowly, sensing Josie's underlying question, "Roman and I dated a few years back...His mother was one of the vampires responsible for my mother's death. He was brainwashed into helping them carry out their plan."

Josie's eyes narrow, jaw slacking in confusion, "And he's still breathing because...?"

Hope sighs, shaking her head, "Jo, it wasn't his fault... Trust me, I tried to blame him for everything. I wanted to hate him... I even tried to kill him."
Hope looks down at her hands, as the last few words fall out, mumbled under her breath.
She takes a deep breath before continuing, "But I couldn't. I couldn't blame him anymore than I blamed myself. I practically handed my mother over to them in the first place. Plus, my mother died protecting me."

"Hope," Josie shakes her head as she reaches out to cup her face, "You can't blame yourself for that. Your mom made a decision to keep you safe. That doesn't mean her death is your fault."

"I know, she already told me that." Hope makes eye contact with Josie to see confusion written all over her face, so she clarifies the statement, "She said it in a dream...I think." Honestly, Hope has no clue if it was a dream or if it was real, when she died briefly and saw her mother.

Josie leans in to leave a sweet kiss on her cheek before pulling Hope to lean back against the stack of pillows. Josie cuddles into her side while Hope runs her fingers through Josie's soft brown hair. The feeling of contentment almost distracts her from the resolution she'd reached earlier.

Unfortunately, Josie can read her like a book, "What else is on your mind today?"

Hope bites her lip for a moment, heart racing as she tries to figure out how to start this conversation, "Well, I had a talk with your dad..."

"Yeah?"

Hope nods slowly, "Yeah, and um—I told him that I think it would be best for me to go back home for a while..."

Josie suddenly pulls her body upright, turning to face Hope, "What do you mean? Like, not stay here for a few nights?"
Josie's heart drops to her stomach when Hope tears her eyes away, swallowing thickly, "Hope, what do you mean 'go back home for a while?'"

Hope reconnects her gaze, and what she sees in Josie's eyes makes her breath catch in her lungs, "Josie, I can't keep putting you in danger—"

"Hope, we talked about this already, after we fought the Oneiroi. I want to help you fight the monsters, the squad wants to help, too. You don't have to do this alone—"

"Babe," Hope reaches a hand out to run her fingers through the hair framing Josie's face. She allows her palm to rest softly against Josie's cheek, "I can't risk you getting hurt because of me. First it was the monsters, and now we have Triad on top of that."