ℝ𝔸ℕ𝔻𝕐 & 𝕁𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕃𝕐ℕ 𝕆ℕ𝔼𝕊ℍ𝕆𝕋𝕊🏳️🌈

Goodbye Andy (Randy)

ANDY'S POV
"This thing is slowly destroying us in a thousand pieces" I lifted my head from the still unsigned contract to him. His cute brown eyes, which turned honey-colored in summer, were an indescribable thunderstorm, a storm while you could still see hope in mine.

"We can ask him to..." but my sentence was quickly interrupted by him, by his voice in which it was impossible not to feel the anger that dominated all the other emotions.

"Ask him what, Andy?!" He screamed, making me jump. His voice had never had such an effect on me. Usually he, with the sweet and calm sound of his voice, calmed me, made me feel in my stomach those butterflies that had become familiar, made me fall in love with him even more. Never, ever have I ever been frightened by his voice, he has never frightened me. He was my safe place, he wasn't something I was afraid of. Suddenly, however, something had changed. All of a sudden I felt the need to have someone hold my hand and someone wasn't him, because I knew my body would react differently if he touched me.

"But that's what we've always wanted," I said in a low voice. I felt small in front of him, inferior, as if he were a giant and I was a small dot. I felt like a three year old in front of an adult.

"It's what we've always wanted and never really could have" what he'd just said made sense, but it didn't make sense to me that he was giving up. Even though this was all we ever wanted to have and ever could really have, it didn't mean we had to give it all up. We had fought for years and we had stood with our heads held high, we had faced every problem together and now he was screwing everything up. I understood why he was tired of all this, I really understood it. We were fighting for something that other artists didn't have to fight for, something they had without any kind of effort. Honestly it sucked, our love was no different than Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez or Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart. Our love was like everyone else and at the same time unique.

"We can't give up on our love"

"You're wrong," he said, making me skip a beat. "We can and must give up our love, we have no choice" his voice was eerily calm, there was no hint of fear or doubt, no pain and no repentance. I felt like in our relationship the love was only on my part because while he was so calm, I was quickly wearing out and crumbling from the pain right now.

"We have a choice, Ryan. It's about us, about our love."

"Which us, which love, Andy?"

"Okay now you are unreasonable!" I yelled at him and his words did nothing but harm. So many stabs that went deep, there was no other way to describe the way in which his words were perceived by my mind and body.

"I'm not unreasonable, Andy!"

"Yes you are! You don't even want to try to save our love, what unites us, what we are!" I hated when people yelled at me, they made me feel bad because my dad used to yell at me all the time and it was awful. He never screamed at me, he never allowed himself to make me feel the way my dad made me feel, quickly all the others paid attention to this and I really appreciated it. But now he wasn't that different from my dad, he was yelling at me and making me feel exactly the way he made me feel my dad all the time.

My tears streamed silently down my cheeks as every part of my body trembled with no control from me.

There were too many times I found myself crying alone in bed, but it wasn't even five minutes before my slender body was welcomed into his arms. Rye was the one and only one who could calm me down. He had always been the guy who whispered sweet words in my ear and wiped my tears until it calmed me down, but he never caused these tears.

Now I was crying and I just wanted him to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay. I desperately needed to hear his voice tell me "I love you". But it never happened.