ℝ𝔸ℕ𝔻𝕐 & 𝕁𝔸ℂ𝕂𝕃𝕐ℕ 𝕆ℕ𝔼𝕊ℍ𝕆𝕋𝕊🏳️🌈

Sometimes all I think about is you (Randy)

RYAN'S POV

Nine days had passed since that dinner, and in my head Jack's phrase "but not impossible" kept repeating. Being me was difficult, but not impossible, yet I still hadn't found a way to be myself. The only one who could find the answer was me, because it was me and me alone.

"Yes! Holy shit" she was about to come and I could also tell from the fact that her legs were shaking convulsively, her eyes were rolling like spirals until she closed them.

Andy's image kept filling my mind and in a second it turned me on more than Cheryl had in the last fifteen minutes.

His expression that he always had as the orgasm intensely made its way into him, his body in the throes of an overwhelming state of pleasure, his hands lightly wrapped around my neck and his anal muscles tight and tight contracts around my dick.

"I'm cumming" I moaned, cumming inside the condom and pushing out her soon after. Him was still prominent in my mind and the only cause of my orgasm.

Not even a minute later, her lips were already running down my chest, then rising to my jaw and moving to my lips and finally to my ears. I had no idea what she was trying to do, but if she was trying to get me hard then he was failing miserably. It was nauseating.

Her lips weren't even in the least comparable to his. Cheryl's lips were huge, coarse and always smelled of some weird lipstick that tasted awful. Andy's lips were as perfect as he was, they were smooth and soft, they had a sweet taste derived from the milk tea he drank every day. Cheryl's hands were as big as mine and they weren't smooth or soft, no, they were rough and for some reason even dry, the effect they had on my skin made me shiver in a bad way.

"What would your reaction be if I told you I'm pregnant?" The world collapsed on me the moment I heard that word. It was what I had feared from the beginning. A broken condom or anything else that could go wrong and forever I would find myself chained to her. A misplaced condom or one with a tiny hole and my life would be forever ruined. If before I had a chance to free myself from her, a child would have bound us forever and changing things would never have been possible. My mind began to travel into the future, images of her with a big belly bombarded me, the idea that he would witness everything was as painful as the idea of ​​experiencing all this firsthand.

"I... I don't want to have a baby" was one of the biggest lies I'd ever told. The idea of ​​being a dad, having a kid who called me dad and saw me as his hero had always been my dream. Having a family has always been something I aimed for in life. I wanted to have a family with the person I loved and she was not that person.

"I do," she said, her tone of voice a clear sign of how little she cared about what I wanted.

"Not me" she looked me straight in the eye and for a moment I was afraid, but immediately my eyes closed and I let my mind get lost in the future that I dreamed of and that I could never have.

"I'm hungry," she said, throwing herself backwards and banging the headboard against the wall.

"Me too" I murmured, my eyes completely lost on the objects that were on my shelves, a particular photo had caught all my attention.

We left my room with our pyjamas still on. Her hand didn't want to leave mine, but the only thing I wanted was for her to let it go. Before I had time to do anything though, my eyes met his. I had gotten so used to the blue in his eyes until I got to a point where I thought that never in my life should I get used to getting lost in other eyes. His blue was so comforting, it sent me calm and made me feel just fine. The black colour, with which I now met more often than I wanted, was a whole other thing, it was a crazy flock of birds. I didn't want the flock, I wanted calm.