Notions || jean kirstein

K.

Sound track
John Wayne - cigarettes after sex
Alrightly Aphrodite - peach pip
Notion - Tash sultana
Alien blues - Vundabar

I stepped down onto the road, with a sniffle- the cold air bitting at my nose as I walked slowly behind Ymir.

I hope she's not too mad, I thought as I shoved my hands deep in the pockets the sweatpants I had on. My mood had completely dropped and so had my smile, as I wrapped myself in the thick green jumper attempting to keep my warmth in. I bit my lip anxiously as my eyes wondered down the dimly litten road, them focusing on Ymir.

I probably should've come tonight. The only thing I gained from tonight was the burden of regret for wearing the stupid cowboy costume and furthered my speculations that jean absolutely hated my guts (and that he can't keep his guts down). with a staggered skip in my step, i stumbled towards ymir.

as i finally caught up to her side I saw her hand pulled from from her face, her phone screen switching from an active call to a contact name - as if the call was declined. 

The name read - dearest historia

I sallowed as I watched her press the her contact name once more. It rang once then went straight to voice mail. She stared down at the screen as silence fell between us, our mismatching steps and the freezing breeze were the only thing from keeping it from being eairy.

"You... feeling alright?" I croaked out, thinking the time was right as I looked over at her dim face. She was silent, her stance not budging as she kept her pace up.
"...Ymir?" My voice was quite as I spoke up again, already knowing  her answer if she did even answer. She looked upset - behind her fraud of  her toughness.

"Y/n, I'm fine." She said assertively attempting to hide the tears welling in her eyes.

She was upset about Historia. wasn't it obvious. I didn't know much about the two but god did I know how much Ymir loved her. The countless Polaroid pictures of the blond, scattered across Ymir's side of the room, you must be blind if you didn't see it.

I watched in silence as her thumb reached for the call button once more.

"If you call her anymore she might block your number." I blurred out suddenly, my not very sober state shining as bright as the sun as I kicked at the ground in a nonchalantly manner.

Why the fuck would you say that? I mentally face planted myself.

Ymir's froze, her head clocking to glare at me. I felt my lungs pull tight as I met her beady eyes. "I'm sorry-" I blurred out, thinking that would help my situation. "I really shouldn't have said that-"

"No- You're right." She simply said before, shutting off her phone then pocketing it calmly, her mouth carving into a flat line as she cocked her neck to the side. We fell silent once more before she scoffed.

"Jesus- you are right." She repeated, almost sounding defeated.

"I can't believe I'm taking advice from my
tight ass roommate." She laughed, though her voice still pained.

I felt a bubbly laugh escape my throat as I pulled an offensive face. "Hey I'm not a tight ass-" I defended myself.

"Yeah sure you aren't." Ymir spat sarcastically as just a small smile cracked at her lips. The tension in the air settled as We talked the rest of the walk home about the party and how it was actually good until jean puked everywhere - but I was sure not to bring up Marco and the kiss, not wanting it to become a big drama. I named everyone that I met as ymir proceeded to give me a brief offensive rundown of each person. I wasn't too sure if I was distracting her very well from her situation with historia but something settled in my not very sober mind each time she would let out a subtle chuckle towards my way.