Notions || jean kirstein

Apology

Hey ladies 🤩
It Is unheard of but I'm back. My deepest apologies and condolences to my two year hiatus but it had to happen. I know many of u will not care nor even read this but if u do I suggest going back a few chapters and refreshing your mind. I had to make major adjustments to the last chapters as there was so much unnecessary smut that did not fit nor make sense to the plot. At least I could say I have matured. 🙏 so pretend you never read the 2nd half of the last chapter 😆.
Enjoy the long awaited chapter;))

Soundtrack

Follow you - bring me to the horizon
Nutshell- Alice in chains
Master of none - beach house
Youngest daughter- superheaven

~~~~~

"Y/n do you hate me?"

My brain lagged, his warmth's towering over me as my mouth struggled corporate with me.

"Wh- wh" I was struggling to get the words out, as tears effortlessly poured down my hot cheeks. A bubbly laughter echoed through my chest as I hiccupped through my in disbelief. I stared at his gorgeous face, the orange light from the window casting a dark shadow on his sharp nose as his dark eyebrows furrowed.

"I- I wish I could hate you!"  I screamed, hot tears barrelling down my face.

"But you are poison to my brain, Jean!"  

His name even burned my tongue.
His face softened, a conflicted expression plastered on his face. As if he didn't understand. His mouth opened to say something but I interrupted, head rushing with tense emotion.

I haven't thought this out

"I- I am the one- that should be asking you thi-s" the tears streaming down my cheeks fell onto the cold floor beneath me.
Anger and sadness pulsated through me as I chocked on my words.

"Kirstein, tell me why!"
I held my head strong, as I cried
"you hate me don't you, Why a-re you doing this!"

"Like serio-usly- "

My mind flooded with overwhelming thoughts, my cry's burning into whimpers as my hand ripped up to gestures at his tall figure.

Just as I opened my mouth, gasping for air, his Huge hand grabbed my wrist and effortlessly pulled me into his chest. My eyes widened as his body curved around mine, warm large palms splaying over my back, pushing me into his hard body. His head hung low next to mine, resting In the crook of my neck, his hot breath seeping into me.

My eyes welled as I let my face scrunch, ugly as ever as I let out a deep sob. Everything from the past month washed over me. I missed home.
My arms caved under him gripping the thick jacket that surrounded him as he let me sob into his neck.
Emotions high and vulnerable, I felt his grip tightened against my waist.

"I'm so fucking sorry-" jean chocked out, his head  burying into my neck, his chest hair sticking to my wet skin. My chest hurt as I silenced my sobs, my body jerking with the erratic cries.

" it's all my fault"

"non of this was meant to happen y/n. The way I treated you was disgusting, foolish- and I don't expect you to ever forgive me for what I've done to you"

His voice sounded strained, his fingers gripping at my skin. I couldn't move, I didn't want to move, his huge body leaned on mine. My face fell into his collar of his jacket, letting my tears fall freely.