US

+ p a r t t w o: 9 +

Our relationship wasn't pretty half the times. Or more than half of it. It was the reason why we stayed silent instead.

Just sat next to each other. While he played his guitar and I played with his hair and Isak Danielson sang beautifully in the background.

I don't know if he knew, but Isak was the only thing that helped say the things I never could. Or perhaps, the things he could never dare say to me.

Because the one time we both spoke our hearts out, it had been catastrophic.

I was helping Holly round up in the office. She had gone over to Rob's office to help him out. James had come in and locked it, his face in a mischievous grin.

It made me smile "Hey"

He walked to me, carrying me up and placing me on the desk while he kissed me. He tasted a bit like cinnamon. That was what his cologne smelled like anyway. He had started taking some cinnamon filled candy to make himself irresistible to me.

I held his shirt, letting my tongue delve more into his mouth. When I pulled away, there was a hazy look on his face "I love it when you kiss me"

I didn't say anything to that, just pulled away from him "So what's up?"

He barely ever came to the hospital. Unless of course it was important or he wanted to see me. It was mostly because he wanted to see me.

Holly once said she was jealous. We always ignored her "My friends and I were going bowling"

I raised an eyebrow.

"No, it's not a date" He said eventually. There was a momentary look of sadness at those words but it vanished immediately he kept talking "It's just more of me introducing you to them"

"They know me"

"They do, they just don't think we're together" He replied "They think— Well, they think you're too cool for me"

I always thought it was the other way around. Pretty, smart and humble Jamie against Weird, rude and quite always pissed Skye.

Wow, such a match made in heaven.

"They're stupid for not believing you" It was me trying to drift from the topic. It always worked with other people. It never worked with Jamie.

"Look, I know the last time it wasn't— cool, but I wouldn't do anything extreme" He was coming closer. He already knew our mode of communication.

Touch when the other person was being stubborn.

"Dude, fuck off" I was sending him a glare. It was me being on protective mode. I didn't want him doing that to me. He wasn't the only one who turned to pudding when they were touched.

I don't even know how to explain it but I doubt he knew he could play me more than he could play his guitar "Jesus, Skyler. If you could just say yes to one thing I say—"

"I don't want to go" I cut in "I don't care about going out with your goody two shoes friends and being paraded like some trophy"

"You're not a fucking trophy!" He snapped before he closed his eyes again, and opened them. His eyes reminded me of chocolate fudge for some reason "I just want everyone to see how happy you make me. It's all I've ever wanted"

"It doesn't matter"

He frowned "You're just ashamed of me"

I wished he'd stop talking "No, I'm not"

"I don't need you to lie to me. I'm not stupid. You keep saying you don't like going out but you kept going to clubs every fucking time before we were together but then all of a sudden, you're irritated about even leaving the house"

"A club and wherever you prim and proper kids would go totally clashes, and I've dropped that life and you know it"

"Really? That's the reason you've still been texting Mandy, saying you wanted to see her?"

Amanda was my ex girlfriend. We met at a club. She was cool. I liked how she looked when she smoked. I always asked to see it through a video call. Sounds sketchy but it as the truth "You've been going through my phone?"

"If you'd give me just a reason to believe I'm good enough for you—" His hands were clenched into a fist "You won't do as I ask. You won't do anything with me. You keep hiding me. You won't even say you love me when I say those words to you. Do you have any idea how that feels?"

I hated him when he was this way. I hated him when he sounded like he was a toy that I broke.

I hated it when he made me feel weak "Get out"

He gave a small laugh "That's it? Really? You're sending me away?"

"You're being fucking childish and I can't deal with that side of you. Go meet your friends wherever you guys are going. We'd talk when you get back, and I pray by then you are more sensible to talk to"

"You—" He chuckled. His eyes glistened like he wanted to cry "You're just a heartless bitch, you know that, don't you?"

After he had left, Holly found me in her office. She could tell I was pissed. I didn't say anything to her. I just left for a smoke and went back home.

He came back very late and he apologized about losing his cool. He said it didn't matter if I wasn't ready to go out with him, that we had time together and he'd wait till I was ready

He never brought up the I love you topic again.