US

+ p a r t f i v e: 24 +

Oscar was brilliant, I know I'd said that but it was difficult not to keep repeating it.
Us was a book about a girl who loved someone, the person's gender was unknown at the beginning and throughout the book, she never told them how she felt until they killed her.

Yes, creepy story, everyone on the cast said it all the time. The person hadn't killed her on purpose with his own hands, just her silence cause that.

The storyline wouldn't change, but one thing that Oscar knew was how everyone loved the unknown person, because the main character saw them as an angel. He wanted something more of a plot twist. Something creepier. He was a man who would wake me up at two am with a new idea he had and then switch into ten different ones.

I found out later that people found it here to work with him because of that reason. I didn't mind. My job was to filter out whatever was too much and simplify them.

Yasmin stayed with me during those days, permanently living in my sitting room while she smoked and painted whatever she wanted.

Sometimes she would look at me and ask if she could paint a character of mine. Yasmin had stolen my book and read it, without ever returning it.

I never stopped her from painting whatever she wanted but she kept asking, as if she knew whatever she painted would hurt me.

And one day it did.

She had drawn a man that looked similar to Jamie "Does it not seem like the Adam in your book?"

"Take it down" It was the first time in months I was looking at him. Really looking at him. She had drawn him smiling, just like those years ago and all that came to my mind was the fact that I couldn't remember the last time he smiled with me.

Yasmin took it down, but she kept the sketch in my room, under my bed, I found it months later.

I knew Yasmin could be with anyone else but she kept saying she felt safe with me because she knew I wouldn't harm her. I couldn't but I told her that I didn't feel safe around her.

She laughed.

Sometimes she appeared in my dreams and when I had nightmares, she would lay next to me. I could feel her skin, warm, soft and I'd want to kiss her.

To touch her.

I never did.

"Why?" She always asked.

"I'm married"

"I don't care"

I knew she didn't, but I had too much on my mind and I had never lied to Jamie. I wasn't ready to start now.

Then one day, Yasmin and I had a fight about how Jamie sent me over and hadn't even texted me or asked about how I was doing. I told her it was alright because I'd done the same thing to him.

She scoffed "Just because you did it once, doesn't mean he should be as shitty as you are, but that's fine. You both are shitty enough for each other"

After she left, I texted him, asking if I could talk to Penny and he replied immediately, saying it was fine, that he just had to wake her up.

I waited for some minutes before Penny appeared on the screen of my phone with her pyjamas on.

My baby's hair was longer and it made me grin because I was the one who always cut it "Now, don't you miss me?"

"I always miss you" She said, grinning "Daddy always forgets that he's supposed to read to me every night"

I didn't blame Jamie. I was always the one that did that for her cause he was barely home "I promise honey, he'd learn. I should have called earlier before now, I'm sorry"

"It's okay. Daddy says you're making a movie and it pretty much takes all of your time"

I wondered if that was the reason why he hadn't called but I ignored that, asking her about school.

"School sucks"

I made a face "Peanut"

"I'm serious. Everyone keeps getting mad at me cause I don't understand what's going on in class like they do and I keep begging Daddy to let me be homeschooled but he won't listen"

"Baby, we would homeschool you if there was a good reason, not because of stupid kids I'd happily crush with my fist when I come for your PTA meeting"

She giggled "You're not supposed to want to hurt kids, Daddy"

"I know, but those same kids aren't supposed to make my baby feel bad"

We talked for sometime before she said she had to go to bed. I kissed her through my phone before she handed the phone to Jamie "Thanks but I actually have to go right now—"

"Skye. Wait. Please"

I did.

He sighed. His hand was raking through his hair "Fuck, I don't even know where to start. I would start with how sorry I am cause I am fucking sorry and I shouldn't have acted like that. You didn't deserve it, I—"

He did that his closing of his eyes thing before he continued "The town's hospital was closing down, and I didn't know how to tell you because I knew you'd want to take care of everything by yourself without even wanting my help and I just couldn't let that happen. I wanted to be there for you but I've never been able to. Everytime I try, you keep pushing me away and I was getting desperate"

He looked at me now "You and Penny are my life and I don't know what I'd become without you both. I'd do anything, for the two of you, Skye. I love you, I truly do and with every year we've spent together, I have loved you and I haven't for one day stopped. I just want to be the best thing for you"

I hated it when he sounded like that "You're enough"

"You say that, but I don't feel it, Skye. I just—" He paused and let out a sigh "Don't. I know it's not your fault, you've always been that way but as the years passed, I thought something would change but it's okay because I know now we're getting to let our feelings out. We're communicating. Now, we can sort it out while you're all the way there and I'm here, we'd talk about this like adults and then figure something out"

Then he added with a smile of his "Just like we always have"

I wanted to tell him that with every fire we've managed to survive from, we got burnt and the scars still existed, yet I told him that we would, because I loved Jamie, and I knew that Jamie loved me.

But Jamie was always my muse in the commonest ways, and he helped Oscar and I prove that love was the most fickle of emotions.