US

+ p a r t f i v e: 25 +

The day that Jamie and Peanut came to New York, Yasmin had stayed overnight.

I'd been working in my sports bra and joggers, still trying to understand what exactly Oscar had been rambling about the night before when she opened the door and I heard her say "Mr Cullen?"

I ran to the door, Penny already running to hug me when I was close enough while my eyes fell on Yasmin who had on a black lacy bra and panties, wearing a silk robe and Jamie who was looking at me.

I said "Hey, Jamie"

"Hey" He walked to me and gave the smallest of kisses on my cheek. It was a sign that we were going to give ourselves a little bit of space.

Baby steps were okay.

"Awkward" Yasmin said as she took Penny from me and said she'd show her the paintings she had in the balcony while Jamie and I spoke.

Immediately she was gone, I said "She's just a friend"

"Just like Mandy, huh?"

"Don't be like that"

The past month had been bliss. Jamie was being back to his usual self and we were connecting better than ever. We were walking towards a goal and we were fighting for one another. For our family.

Jamie smiled, pulling me into his body with his face on my neck, hugging me "I missed you,Skye"

I let my hand touch his hair "Me too"

I'd told him I hadn't showered and he had asked if he could join me. I was wondering what that was about but he said it had been a while so he thought it would have been okay.

We had sex. No, we fucked. We didn't make love like we usually did, like we always did. He fucked me like his life depended on it. Like every thrust was him trying to tell me how much I meant to him.

Like he couldn't explain how badly he had  missed me.

His kisses had me sighing and moaning louder than I'd done in years. I didn't want to ever leave that moment.

It was perfect.

It was a piece of heaven that I wanted to be greedy with.

Jamie was laughing "We can always get back to it baby, our daughter is literally in the hands of a woman who looks like she'd gobble our baby's heart for breakfast"

After Yasmin  had gone home, Jamie and I went to a park with Penny.

She ran right ahead of us, chasing birds before she decided to feed some birds while we sat on a bench watching her.

"You've made friends, with a female nonetheless"

"I wouldn't say friends, but they are people who wouldn't keep asking what gender I was, yes"

He laughed "Is it weird they miss you at Ashtown? They said it was always nice to see you"

"Don't take this wrong way, but they are a bunch of lying dicks"

We were talking, like two sane people. I was happy. I was at peace again.

Until I asked "Why were you guys here anyway? I thought you said you couldn't afford a flight here?"

"Yes, but— But I had something to say so I had to tell you personally"

"You could have just texted it"

"No, I needed to see your reaction and I didn't want you ignoring me on the phone"

I was scared. My whole body was frozen but I tried not to show it "What's wrong?"

He was holding my hands as he said the words I never thought I'd hear "I cheated"

I chuckled "On what?"

"You"

I stared at him. I meant really stared at him. It sounded hard to believe. That he would joke with something like that "You wouldn't. I'm the cheater. I'm the bad guy"

"You're not the— I'm being serious, I did. It's been tormenting for so long and now that we're okay, I thought I should tell you, because— Because you'd understand—"

"When?"

He told me it was when we moved to Ashtown.

I kept staring. I didn't know what it was I was feeling exactly but I was finding it hard to breathe in "You went to her again, didn't you? That one month disappearance? It was her?"

"Skye—?"

"Is she pregnant?"

It was a stupid question, but I needed to ask.

"It was a mistake—"

I chuckled "It's not nice to say children are mistakes, James. One would think after our little thing with Penny, you'd learn that"

He was staring at me. I'd ever called him Jamie. I knew that.

All I kept thinking of was I stupid I was. Stupid.

I was smiling "Do I know her? Don't lie to me. Please, since we're being honest. Don't"

"Yes"

I swallowed. I didn't know them. I knew it couldn't be anyone in Ashtown and I knew no one in his college or anyone for that matter except— "Heather"

"Baby, I'm sorry. I can explain—"

"Of course" I was laughing "You went to the one who was actually a female. That knew her gender. You know, the one who knew what she was"

A part of me wanted to hate Heather, but I didn't blame her. She was a nice person, a bit too bookish but a good girl.

Most importantly, she was a girl.

I was standing. I couldn't even look at Penny as I stared at him, my smile crumbling no matter how much I tried keeping it in place "You kept saying you weren't enough, but it was always me, wasn't it? You— You just wanted a girlfriend and I couldn't be that. I'm sorry, Jamie"

He was standing but I didn't let him get close "No. No, you don't understand. She means nothing to me. It's you I want. That I've always wanted. That's why I'm here right now. That's why I'm telling you"

I raised my hand to keep him away "Thank you but don't. Just— Oh God, Jamie."

My heart was breaking. I was panting. I wasn't even sure how I was standing at that moment as I held my chest, tears falling out of my eyes "Does it suck, that I don't want you to leave me?"

"Skye, I was drunk"

I chuckled "Twice? Fuck" I held my head. I couldn't breathe.

It hurt. It hurt.

"No matter what you've done, I stayed. I loved you. I've loved you. James—"

People always leave. People always hurt you.

Even one day, Penny would leave.

"Take Peanut to Holly. We wouldn't be staying In Ashtown anymore"

He was clenching his fist like he wanted to run to me. Hold me, but I was keeping a straight face even though the tears still rested on my cheek "And move in with Heather"

"No"

"You're not abandoning you're family"

"You're my family"

"Family doesn't exactly do what you did, do they?" Then I laughed "Fuck it, just go away. Penny is staying here with me"

I didn't wait for him to tell me his thoughts on it, I just walked to my daughter and asked if she wanted to stay over with me for a while. She was happy about it.
 
"What about Daddy?" She was pointing at Jamie.

He had a lost look on his face. Like a puppy that had been shut outside of his house.

I buried my face in my daughter's neck so I wouldn't scream  "He has other things to take care of now"