US

+ p a r t t h r e e: 15 +

I gave birth to my daughter, Peanut (I named her that because I really craved peanuts when I was pregnant for her and it gave me serious gas issues. It was just my little payback), on the 16th of July.

Jamie calls her Penny anyway. He says it's because calling her Peanut outrightly was funny and that Penny would make someone think her name was Penelope.

I told him Penelope was a more horrible name but he said her full name would be our little secret.

We didn't get married right away even after Penny was born. Jamie was back in college and I was trying to be a Mother, or a Father, whatever I was.

What really did bug me was how I kept feeling emotions for the littlest things. More uncontrollably than before. Holly said it was because I repressed them for so long and that they were coming out in floods.

The Cullen's had been very happy to see me and they were even happier that we were getting married, for some reason, even though we were too young to.

"It's still so weird" Rob had said when he walked me down the aisle "Our own kids are— You know"

With Penny, I cried and laughed and sometimes I was so emotionally exhausted that the urge to run was quite tempting but she was better than most babies and that was okay enough.

Plus, because of her, I found myself talking to Jamie almost everytime and that made him very happy. It was me always complaining about how Penny wasn't letting me write anything but it was a step to something.

The day he had come home and set his eyes on her, he wouldn't let me hold her for a long time. He kept saying he was so glad she looked like me. And it was true, she did, but I didn't think he knew she had his eyes.

Those eyes that seemed to know what my fears and insecurities were about.

And it was very uncomfortable when you were trying to breastfeed a baby that looked like they could see through your soul.

We finally got married some months after Penny was born and he was on a break from college.

It was a small wedding and Elroy had been the one who held our rings, mostly because he looked super cute in a suit and Jamie, for some reason thought it'd be better someone we both knew held them instead of his own best friend.

I could also tell he was growing a small crush on Jamie but Elroy said he'd be glad if the feeling died fast because he didn't want to be into sensitive people.

I'd laughed when he said that.

Jamie asked for a honeymoon and I'd been ready to fight tooth and nail to stay with Penny but Holly said it'd be good if we spent some time together, without a baby crying, alone.

And I loved my daughter. I loved her very much, but there was this appealing thing about not hearing a baby cry for at least three days so I agreed.

It was an island honeymoon of some sort, and I could tell Jamie had prepared for it for a very long time, possibly before I even agreed to marry him.

We had a cabin on a beach next to the sea with and no other company since the male flung both our phones into the sea the day we arrived.

It was serene and beautiful.

The first night had been all about sex. Sex from that day till the next.

Then when I'd woken up, he had come with a tray filled with my breakfast. I ate that, and then we had sex again.

Eventually, we went outside and he was playing his guitar while I tried to finish up a book I was writing. This time solely for my pleasure and because I was very inspired for some reason.

Whether it was because of the sounds of the waves crashing, or the breeze that moved through my hair or perhaps the one and only person capable of being a muse to me that sat just some feet away from me, I had no idea but I wasn't going to complain.

"Babe"

He sat behind me now, his chin resting on my neck which itched a bit because of the stubbles on it as he stared at my laptop "What you writing?"

Jamie was a bit touchy now. Maybe a bit too touchy but that was okay. Ever since I had Penny, I felt like I was on cloud nine, free from a big stomach, peanuts and weird pills so I was ready to do whatever he wanted and Jamie knew that so he was taking full advantage of it "Writing"

"Can I see it?" He asked.

I wasn't going to let him see it "When I'm done, love"

He hummed, kissing the back of my neck now, before he wrapped his arms around my body "I love you"

"I love you too"

I'd never felt so in love for anyone until that moment. It had felt like it was the beginning again and it did feel like we could fix whatever it was that always made us hurt one another.

That we could one day be two imperfect people in a perfect relationship where they both could communicate and be sensible to each other.

But I had forgotten that moments like that meant I was in a bubble. Shielded and protected for the main time.

There was always a day when a bubble had to pop.

And it was never a good thing when it happened.