𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓 ↳ 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝘁𝘇

16 | 𝘕𝘌𝘐𝘎𝘏𝘉𝘖𝘙𝘚

rosalind monroe's pov

it's been a day since my 1st day of my 3 week suspension and i feel like i'm already going crazy. i have nothing to do, nothing. well besides learning another language

i tried asking mom if she wanted to go to dance practice with me but she said she was busy with work and maybe tommorow, ugh.

"bye rosie, i'll see you after work okay? love ya!" mom said. she's currently working as a ceo of a popular business so she has to stay formal. i'm really proud of her though she can be busy at times.

"love you too! have a nice day at work" i tell her, waving bye with my hand with a smile as my other hand holds up a book i've been reading.

that's it, i'm bored. mom's gone and lilac's at school. i'm gonna ask mom if we can get a dog.

you know, i can always find out who my dad is.. i've been wondering alot recently. i used to hate the thought of thinking about my dad much, i always thought of him as the bad guy for leaving me. but who knows? he may be a good person who just doesn't know he has a daughter.

maybe he has a wife and children and is living the perfect life and doesn't want me interrupting it. i should think about that. i wish i had a dad that knew about me. maybe i'll ask mom about it once she gets home.

thinking about him makes me sad, really sad. my mood is always ruined when someone brings it up or if i just think about it to much.

maybe mom is hiding something and he knows i exist but she's stopping him from seeing me, no mom wouldn't do that. she's said it herself that she wishes she had a proper father figure because her mom grew up without one and it made things difficult for her.

i knew the option of finding my dad would be almost impossible, he lived in another state the last time i checked. for all i know he could be in a different country.

i stand up and walk to the other room that's a mini library, it's quite cute and i spent a good portion of my time in here reading before i wasn't so lonely anymore.

i picked up a book, a dictionary to be exact of another language. mom tried learning french once but failed but never knew what to do with the recourses she used so she just stuck them in the library as a decoration or something.

i sat back up and grabbed a notebook from my backpack upstairs. i heard writing down words and sentences in the language you're trying to learn helps.

i sat back down and began writing words in french and studying the basics of the language but as much as i tried to focus, i was struggling. i kept thinking about my dad and what he's doing it angered and hurt me to think he doesn't care about me and could have an entire family right now without giving a single thought about the possibility of him having a child. though i shouldn't blame him i can't help it, it's not his fault he doesn't know about me. i should find him, but at the same time i don't want to. what if he hates me?

i sat back up and walked downstairs. yesterday that cigarette calmed me down and i need some calming down right now. i know i said i'd only do it once but you can't blame me if you were me. i'll take a jog on the treadmill after too.

i grabbed a cigarette from the little pouch they were in and decided to shuffle the cigarettes a bit so once mom sees them she wouldn't notice a difference. this will be my last one though, any more and mom will notice.

thankfully i remembered to grab a lighter from upstairs and opened the window, lighting the cigarette and trying to shoo the smoke outside the window so it doesn't smell to much like cigarettes. i'll brush my teeth after this.

i inhale and exhale, being relaxed and the thought of dad slowly drifted away as i closed my eyes and just relaxed, nothing more, nothing less.

i felt calm as i heard the busy cars drive by from a nearby street and the warm sun hitting my cheek. i hope a neighbor doesn't look through there window and see this, i can't risk my moms reputation.

and once again the cigarette is burnt out and thrown out the window as i make my way to the treadmill once again like i did yesterday and getting on. going slow at first and waiting for my high to be over before i started running.

i run for 35 minutes this time before making my way upstairs, remembering to close the window and put the lighter where i last found it. i returned to the library and began studying again, hoping this time i can focus.

sooner or later mom comes home in a good mood, i didn't want to ruin it so i didn't ask about dad, knowing she doesn't like discussing him much. i walked up to her and began attempting to form a sentence with what i had learned, though it didn't sound fluent or good i was making progress.

"rosie you won't believe this, you know our neighbors? the johnsons. yeah so there daughter's boyfriend went missing, missing! the daughter is devastated. i couldn't imagine the feeling, poor girl" mom says with a frown

"yeah, poor girl. i couldn't imagine" i don't have to imagine, because i won't be having a boyfriend. but besides that i felt bad, i saw the boy at a nearby apartment complex and i assume that's where he lives. knowing how close that is and that there is a chance of a killer going around and taking people scares me, i hope they find the boy soon.

"oh and, we're getting new neighbors too. i think there last name is onyema or something. they also have a daughter your age, i think her names aaliyah or aalayna, maybe amelia?" she says, looking out the window and at the house across the street, to which i followed too and noticed a truck and a girl walking outside ready to pick up some boxes.

hold up, that's aalayna from the movie theater. i have to talk to her!

"uh mom, can i go help? as a neighbor of a new family it's polite if i help and make conversation, especially with someone my age. it's the right thing to do" i ask, silently praying she says yes. i know i'm grounded by i'm literally begging for her to say yes.

"fine, you can if you really want too"

published :: april 2nd 2022
i was working on this for an hour and it's almost 1am help i'm so tired.

- sincerely, rielle <3