I SET MY GUITAR DOWN and headed to my closet to pick out an outfit for the day. i wanted my outfit to be simple but cute.
it was the spring time, may 3rd to be exact. it was about 65 degrees out today so that decided my outfit.
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i went with a plunging neckline, tanktop with a fun pair of pants. with it, gold jewelry and white converse.
afterwards i grabbed my macbook, wallet, charger, and notebook and threw it all in a totebag. i took my phone with me and made my way to the main rooms of my apartment.
i decided i would go to a cafe and do some journaling and writing. just get my mind off things for awhile.
i went to my front door, opened it before closing it behind me and locking it. i made my way to my car shortly after that
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i made it to the cafe no problem. i ordered a vanilla iced coffee with a blueberry muffin. i slowly ate and drank while working on answering emails and journaling.
the cafe was empty besides the few people that came in then left after ordering.
as i checked, my song i miss you, i'm sorry had hit 5 million streams on spotify. i nearly started crying but was stopped by someone walking into the cafe laughing.
that laugh. the laugh. no no no no no
i looked up and my worst dreams were coming true, it was clay. he was here and with a friend.
i took in a deep breath and looked down. why did i have to be the only one in this cafe? it's drawing so much attention to me.
i heard the two boys order. i ignored it and started writing as fast as i could. lyrics, why am i always writing lyrics?
we almost got away, we cut it close, the city's getting loud, if i choke, it's only cuz i'm scared to be alone been trying to work it out, you should know.
god damn it why is he laughing so much? i need him to stop.
i would do whatever you wanted, we don't have to leave the apartment. met you at the right time, this is what it feels like.
i'm going to have a panic attack. oh my gosh, i can't breathe.
if i go to the bathroom i have to pass clay. fuck it, i'm not sobbing in the middle of the cafe where he could see.
i started walking and looking down. his back was facing me, but i didn't want to risk it.
i quickly went into the bathroom and locked the door. i slid onto the ground.
"fuck" i whispered out loud. i sighed and tried to breathe as tears formed in my eyes.
this can not be happening right now.
i took some deep breaths and wiped my tears after taking a couple minutes to cry. i was so scared to walk back out. i knew he would see me.
i got up anyways and splashed water on my face before unlocking the door.
"you got this hazel" i said to myself in the mirror before walking out.
i closed the door behind me. i walked out and eyes were instantly on me from clay. i started walking towards him in order to pass him until i was stopped.
"hazel?" my name fell from his lips. i looked in him direction after stopping in my tracks.
"hey clay" i said softly, trying not to freak out
"how long have you been back?" he asked almost starstruck.
"i'm gonna go to the bathroom" his friend said excusing himself, making clay nod in his direction
"only a week" i responded playing with my ring, the one he gave me.
"awesome! ummm it's been awhile" he said nervously and i nodded.
"yeah it has been," i started. "look i have to go, but it was great seeing you"
i could feel the emotions start to build up again, i didn't want to break down in front of him like i did in my dream.
"can i maybe have your number?" he asked looking me in my eyes
