Drowning

Chapter Fifty-One

The hood is still down and music is flowing through the car. This would be perfect if it wasn't shitty music. The sun is coming down any minute now and we've been more than fifteen minutes on the road, my head against the headrest, the cold breeze on my face, and right now the idea of going to te beach in the fucking winter seems insane, but I'll just go with it. I knew we were going there the minute Aiden drove into highway two-seventy eight, and I know he knows I know, if that makes sense at all.

"You know what, I think I've withheld myself enough, I'm tired of this." I say opening my eyes and digging into the glove box for my phone. I need to listen to better music. It's not bad, for when you're at home wanting to have something in the background. But when you're in a convertible going to the beach, this is not nearly enough.

"What are you doing?" Aiden says, looking at me.

"I'm not sorry for breaking the no phone rule, I need to change this song," I say finally finding my phone and connecting it to the car's bluetooth.

"You know you could've done that a long time ago? I'm not exactly a fan of this music either," This bastard.

"You have to be kidding me," I tell him, looking up from my phone and at him. "Why the hell have I been enduring this then!?" A grin started to pull on his lips.

"What are you putting on?" He asks, ignoring my statement. Fine, then. I go to spotify clicking my throwbacks playlist and hitting shuffle.

"The only thing you can listen to when you're in a convertible going to the beach," I say, smirking at him, showing him that I know our next location. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. He looks at me with a grin on his face too, when music starts streaming from the car.

The first song that starts playing is 'Counting stars' by One republic. Mariana and I share a spotify account, since she insists I'm terrible at picking out music, which I don't deny. You got to know your strengths and weaknesses and the only thing I'm good at with music is listening to it, not choosing it. And the only thing that Mariana does in her free-time is create playlists, which I find absurd. But comes in handy in moments like these.

Mouthing the words as the song starts, my head slightly moving with the beat in a convertible on the way to the beach, I remember Spain. Those were two of the best years of my life. Going out almost every night no matter if there was school or not, we just enjoyed ourselves, we had fun, we met new people, we danced until we couldn't feel our feet. Then everything started getting serious, I had just been disowned, school was ending and the fun stopped. I got thrown into a reality check.

I've always just wanted to breathe again. Since the sleepless nights started, the tremors started getting worse and all I could feel like I was drowning, sinking deeper and deeper, not catching a breath. But the last couple days for the first time in years, my first thought wasn't the office, my first thought wasn't work. Instead what came to mind was what book is he reading to me tonight, I thought about the times we laid in bed talking after sex, what snarky comment I was going to backfire next, or which way could I oneup him next when he got cocky. I thought that I didn't forget that I could actually breathe. It's not like Aiden can fix my problems, because he can't, no one can except for myself. But I'm not sinking as fast as I would if I was alone, and now I realize that. I'm still getting used to the idea that maybe it's better this way, me not alone reading or working out all night but with Aiden. Still doesn't mean I'm not an independent powerful woman because I am and no one can deny me of it.

I do something unexpected and inch forwards taking off my heels. I don't want to ruin the seats. I feel Aiden's gaze on me but he doesn't say anything, he just moves my hair behind my shoulder.

I put the heeled booties to the side and unbuckle my seatbelt meeting the gorgeous emerald green eyes that are switching between me and the road. Aiden has the grin he always has on his face and I mirror it with a smile. "Eyes on the road, Black. Always on the road" I say before standing in the passenger seat.