Yours Truly ❁ n.k.h

• chapter twenty seven •

The way that I loved Dinah was different.

It was intense and it ached but it felt right in all the best places. It was a love of partnership. But also a love that stayed for so long, it only knew itself.

And if I was being honest, even though I loved her to the deepest parts of me, I didn't know how to love her or express my love for her anymore.

Too much had come between us to go back to the way things were. She didn't trust me anymore and I didn't feel safe enough to exist without fault. It was hard to not let that bleed into our parenting lives.

Our mornings started the way they always did. I'd go to wake up Angel and take her to brush her teeth while Dinah roamed around the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

The routines were always split as a constant trade off and it always has been. We were adamant on making sure we both got equal time with her with equal parenting duties. It may sound robotic to the ear but it always worked pretty smoothly.

After Angel brushed her teeth, I helped her get ready for the day. She was dead set on wearing this pink shirt with a unicorn on it and rain boots even though it wasn't raining. The outfit choice had me rolling my eyes but I let her be, figuring she could argue with her mother about it later. Then I spruced up her ponytail again and sent her into the kitchen.

I walked in behind her, clad in a tank top and track shorts, my hair thrown in a bun so I wouldn't have to feel my dry coils touching my neck.

"Angel, don't dip your whole hand in the syrup!" I heard Dinah scold, looking over her neck at the child who was cheesing in her mother's direction from her seat.

She started to do it again when I lightly tapped the fluff of her ponytail. Her head whipped to me with eyebrows drawn.

"Stop." I mouthed, gesturing to the plate. A pulled her hand back with a pout, licking the residual syrup from her fingertips.

I looked over at Dinah. She was watching the interaction over her shoulder before locking eyes with me. I gave her a small smile but her returning one didn't reach her eyes. She turned her attention back to the pancake on her skillet.

"Where's the syrup?" I asked out loud, looking for a plate.

"I got it. I made your plate already." Dinah mumbled, turning from the stove to place my plate in front of me.

It was pancakes, turkey sausage, and two pieces of toast with Nutella. Whereas my sausages were links, everyone else had patties. She remembered, just like old times. I looked down at my plate not in shock or surprise, but just... unfamiliarity? It was a normal I'd been so used to going without that having it back felt so weird now.

"Sorry, I forgot the fork." She added, placing it down on my plate.

I looked up at her retreating back, surely still looking the least bit confused. "Thank you." I muttered, giving a stone look to Angel who was now picking at the eggs on her plate.

I started cutting into my pancake with my fork, surveying the kitchen quietly. Things didn't look very different unless you counted the new mound of papers pinned to the refrigerator door. Calendars, schedules, appointment slips, drawings Angel did, a love note or two, and a family photo.