So many colours in my life

5. Indigo purple of resentment

When Wei Wuxian woke up again, dark still reigned over the world. In the beginning, he thought that it had been something he had heard that roused him from his sleep. He was immediately all awake and ready to fight whatever threat there may have been. He did not move though, not wanting to avert the attacker.

Or was there even one? Wei Wuxian strained his ears, listening to the silence of the night. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. After a while, he had to say that there were no attackers either.

Probably. He had sent out small whispers of resentful energy that he was sure he could control perfectly. They scanned the area and Wei Wuxian could feel that they had not come across anything dangerous. He would have known with how closely the resentful energy was tied to him.

If this was the case and there was no one and nothing dangerous out there to attack him, what had woken him up? Wei Wuxian spared a thought to the question if it did even matter in the first place. He did not feel like he had anything to deal with right now. Aside for the urge to get to his siblings so they could tell him what to do, there was nothing else he deemed necessary now.

It was actually liberating to not be swayed by conflicting emotions. Since exiting the Burial Mounds, and even when he had been trapped there, Wei Wuxian could not feel anything. Or, at least not too much. Now he remembered what happened before he fell unconscious.

Sure, he had experienced loneliness from some point onwards. But this feeling could have just been caused by his mysterious urge to go see his siblings. After all, he could not really only stay in Yiling and sit around all day. He was sure Jiang Yanli would scold him for not going back to her side. Jiang Cheng as well, probably.

He had also had to deal with an angry outburst and a loss of control of the resentful energy. Those were more worrisome.

He should not be letting himself be ruled by the resentment. However, he could attribute it to a sudden slip in his armour. Otherwise, no other unnecessary emotions had come to him. His heart was still safe.

As he way laying on the floor and looking up at the night sky, Wei Wuxian reminded himself that this was the best he could do. He could only make himself completely unfeeling if he wanted to control the resentful energy.

Even one single mistake could lead to the resentment overtaking him. It could so easily stop following his command and deceive him.

Or perhaps deceive was not the correct word. Wei Wuxian did not believe that the resentful energy had any emotions of its own, so he could not really call it deceiving if it was not intentional. It was just the resentment's nature to corrupt everything around it. That was exactly why it was up to Wei Wuxian to not give in to this nature. And that could only be accomplished by not letting his heart be vulnerable and open.

***

It happened in the afternoon. Wei Wuxian was walking around, still somewhat tired. He was not sure if he was following the correct way anymore. And it was not as if he could ask anyone, there was no not a single living soul anywhere to be seen. The forest was deep in these parts of Yiling, deep and deserted. Once again, it felt like he was the only human being in the entire world.

He did not have a compass with him so the only thing he could do to at least try and guess the direction was to look at the sky. It was almost entirely hidden by tree tops. And what little could be seen was of literally no help. Unfortunately, heavy rain clouds had gathered and the sun was not visible. As it was, he was wandering around completely lost.

Not that it worried him. His heart and mind were clear and calm. He would get out of the forest one way or another, he just had to continue walking. And then, once outside, he would be able to get his directions correctly again.

As he walked, suddenly, he froze on the spot. There were human voices coming from not far away. So he was not all alone here after all?

Wei Wuxian did not hurry to meet the other people. He had taken his lesson from the last encounter. There could be some more Wen sect soldiers around.

With the thought alone, Wei Wuxian could already feel his rage rising. The resentful energy became more agitated around him, ready to heed his order to attack. The voice hidden inside of it, formerly only easy to ignore whispers, were suddenly getting louder and louder. It was not easy to not listen to them anymore.

Since he had let himself be controlled by them once already, they seemed to have become greedy. They were talking to him, tempting him. And this time, it was not so easy to completely ignore them.

His heart was already not unfeeling anymore. There was rage and also the thrill of being powerful, and the resentful energy attacked right there. It promised him that he would be the most powerful person in the entire cultivation world. It was giving him the opportunity to vent his anger.

The human voices he had heard earlier were coming closer. They were already getting louder than the voices hidden inside the resentful energy. Luckily, it was easy for Wei Wuxian to concentrate on them instead.

He stepped away from the path he was walking on and hid himself behind a tree. The people to whom the voices belonged must have been approaching using the same road. Wei Wuxian decided he would first have to look and confirm who they were.

Not much to his surprise, a group of soldiers in red robes came into his view shortly. They were walking in a long line, two by two, side by side with each other. The road was pretty narrow over here so they had no other option.

What was way more attention-catching was that in the middle of them, there were several people on horse backs. And not just any people either. It was Wen Chao with his mistress and Wen Zhuliu!

Wei Wuxian's hand instinctively went to where his sword had once been. He had not forgotten even for a second who it had been who had thrown him into the Burial Mounds.

Instead of his sword, his hand found a flute. The voices inside his head suddenly became louder still. They felt that Wei Wuxian was getting agitated and they were happy. Their promises changed abruptly. They were no longer only offering him a way to satisfy his anger. They were telling him to take revenge on those who had hurt him.

And hurt him Wen Chao had. Be it not for that man, Lotus Pier and the Yunmeng Jiang sect would have still been his home. He would have had a place to return to and would not have to see them burning and being trampled to dust. Wen Chao and his henchmen had hurt him and his family.

The rage Wei Wuxian had been feeling before transformed into something else. It was less explosive and stronger, more stable and lasting. More substantial and darker. It was resentment for the man who had taken everything from him.

Yes, at that point, Wei Wuxian resented Wen Chao, his sly mistress and Wen Zhuliu more than anyone else in the world. The whispered prompting to take revenge was no longer a so distant concept.