Leave Me In Ruins

Regret

The sound of close footsteps pulled Derek from sleep. Without opening his eyes, he let out a heavy sigh, "Stiles."

Stiles stopped his pacing and whirled towards the bed where Derek was now pinching the sleep from his eyes. As he sat up, the blanket fell from his bare chest.

Stiles swallowed as he recalled bracing himself on that exact spot the night before.

"What are you doing?" Derek asked, his brows raised in question.

"I...didn't want to just...leave but I didn't think you'd want me to stay and so..." Stiles gestured to the room as if that was explanation enough. His teeth worried the bottom of his lip as his widened eyes remained on Derek.

"So you're pacing in front of my bed?"

Stiles licked his lips, "I don't want this to change anything," he spoke quietly between them.

Derek's expression darkened slightly, "You regret it," despite the serious look on his face, his tone was apologetic.

"No," Stiles blurted, "No, no way. Uh uh, definitely don't regret...any of it." Stiles pushed down the memory of Derek's mouth on him as he gestured wildly in an attempt to convince Derek.

A small smile pulled at Derek's lips briefly.

"Do...you?" Stiles asked, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck as he waited for Derek's answer.

Derek remained silent for a moment. His immediate response was yes, but not in the way Stiles would think. He regretted the circumstances. He regretted that they weren't on the same page. But he didn't for a second regret being able to touch and hold Stiles the way he had last night. Even now the smell of Stiles was still heavy on his sheets and there was nothing that could make him regret that.

"You can say yes," Stiles' voice was small yet understanding.

He was unnervingly still for the first time. It was always a sure sign that something was wrong. It made Derek's wolf squirm. He hated when something was wrong with a pack member.

"I don't," Derek answered though his tone was unsteady.

"That was convincing," Stiles nodded, running a hand over his face. "Listen, I don't want you to think that I...expect anything to come of that. We both...were...in a delicate place and...I recognize that we made a mistake."

Derek's shoulders straightened.

"I mean, if it had to be anybody, I'm glad it was you because I...think...you won't let this change anything. Cause Derek this can't change anything. I can't...you're too important to...I just need you to tell me this isn't gonna change anything," Stiles' tongue swiped across his bottom lip before he dug his teeth into it once again.

The smell of worry and anxiety swept over Derek. He could hear the heavy thudding of Stiles' heartbeat. The gentle tapping of his fingers against the side of his leg was nearly as deafening.

"This won't change anything," Derek agreed, desperate to comfort Stiles.

Stiles deflated as he let out a relieved sigh, "Good. Good. Thank you."

"But I don't regret it," Derek couldn't let Stiles think that was true. "I very much enjoyed it. But I recognize that it was..." Derek paused. "A mistake."

The words were sour on his tongue.

Stiles nodded, "Yeah. Okay. Umm, maybe we don't tell anyone?"

"I think that's best," Derek nodded. He did not want to have to explain to Scott or Malia that he had slept with their best friend and ex-boyfriend.

"Great, then I will...go," Stiles gestured towards the door, studying Derek's face for any clue that this conversation wasn't over.

"Wait," Derek slid from between the covers.

Stiles swallowed, forcing himself to keep his eyes on Derek's face.

Derek stepped close, and inhaled, "You smell like me." He closed his eyes, trying to commit the scent to memory. The smell of him on Stiles like this was...euphoric.

"Okay, so I crashed here last night after research. A, not a lie. B, it's nothing that would raise any suspicion. I've done it before," Stiles shrugged.

Derek pulled away from Stiles and grabbed a pair of sweats from a nearby chair.

Stiles focused on keeping his eyes off of Derek's ass.

"No, it's a...very distinct scent. The pack would instantly know what we did," Derek explained, turning back to face Stiles.

Stiles' eyes widened, "You mean, there's no way to hide this?"

"Not smelling like that," Derek crossed his arms.

"So what do I do?" Stiles flailed his arms through the air again. The gesture was almost calming to Derek.

"It'll wear off in a day or two."

"A day or- I'm supposed to see Scott in like two hours," Stiles' arms continued to fly through the air as he started his pacing again.

"Showering will help. Deaton might have something, I can-"

"He's Scott's boss, I don't think he should know." Stiles cut Derek off. "I've got a few hours, I'll figure it out." He scrubbed a hand over his face.

Derek only nodded, fighting the urge to kiss Stiles once more before the scent would be washed away.

"I'll see you later tonight?" Stiles asked, pulling his keys from his jeans pocket.

Derek frowned at Stiles, his heart leaping at the idea of seeing Stiles again. but they had just agreed last night had been a mistake.

"Research," Stiles clarified. "We didn't exactly finish last night. Well...we did but..."

Derek raised his brows at Stiles.

"Anyway," Stiles cleared his throat, his cheeks flaring scarlet, "See you later?"

"Yeah," Derek nodded.

He watched Stiles walk out of his room. Once he was sure Stiles was out of the loft, he threw himself face down onto his bed. He inhaled Stiles' scent and gripped at the bed sheets as if he could hold onto the scent forever.

Regret was something Derek was very familiar with, but this...this was new low for him.

*AN*
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