Leave Me In Ruins

Rip his own heart out

Stiles' knee bounced as he waited for Melissa to give him some kind of update on Adrian and the girl. Boyd and Derek sat next to him. The rest of the pack and his dad was handling the other bodies.

"Do you guys want a coffee? I'm gonna get a coffee," Boyd said, standing. He yawned as if his body were trying to justify the need for caffeine.

"Sure," Derek nodded. They'd been there not quite an hour but it felt like all night.

Stiles scrubbed a hand down his face. He already felt anxious and he knew if he had caffeine it would only make it worse, but he was exhausted.

"Or I can take you home and—" Derek started but Stiles cut him off.

"No. Coffee's fine." The sun had set by now but he didn't know when he'd have a chance to get some sleep.

"You sure? You've had a long and trying two days," Derek reminded Stiles, as if he needed it.

"I just... I just need to know..." Stiles scrubbed his hand down his face again.

"He's alive. And Deaton and Melissa are taking care of him," Derek tried to reassure him.

"But what if we were too late? You guys got to me almost immediately. He was there for..." Stiles swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

Derek reached out and placed a hand on Stiles' knee. The bouncing stopped. "You did everything you could."

"I shouldn't have left him."

Derek ignored the ache in his chest at Stiles' words. "You thought it was me," he said as if that was a good enough excuse.

"Exactly." Stiles scoffed.

Derek removed his hand as if it'd been slapped away. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Stiles sighed. "Nothing, I just... This is why I didn't want to go out with him."

Derek's jaw clenched. "Because I'd ruin it?"

"No." Stiles shook his head adamantly. "Because I always choose you guys. When you need me, I don't even question it. It's why Jeremy and I broke up, it's why I don't date. It's why Adrian..." he swallowed another lump.

"Then maybe we need to stop depending on you so much," Derek's words were quiet.

"I don't want that."

"Don't you?" Derek gestured down the hall as if Adrian were standing there.

Stiles leaned his head back against the wall. "It's not that simple."

"Maybe it can be. When you're with Adrian, we don't call. We can wait."

"You assume he's gonna want to ever see me again. And that would put an end to...this." Stiles gestured between them.

Derek swallowed. He didn't want to put an end to this, but he hated seeing Stiles so upset. "It had to come to an end at some point. We couldn't do it forever." The words tasted sour on his tongue.

Stiles frowned, biting down on his bottom lip. And Derek wondered if maybe he'd made a mistake.

"Is this about Kai?" he asked, catching Derek completely off guard.

"What?"

"Oh come on, you didn't think I noticed. He jumps at any chance to see you. And he gave you his number. I already have the entire department on my phone."

Derek swallowed as he recalled a particularly flirty gesture from Kai. He had been too worried about Stiles to think too hard about it.

"It's okay, Derek. You can just tell me that you want to end this to see where that goes. He's a good-looking guy. And he's in the know. Who could be more perfect?" Stiles smiled.