CAMBRIA

TWENTY-THREE

They slipped briskly back into friendship as if no time at all had passed, spending the next consecutive five days together. No longer would she spend her nights awake, wondering what he was doing, if he was thinking of her as she was thinking of him. Now, she knew.

They had a lot of catching up to do, albeit not that much had changed. Jackson was still with Natalia, astonishingly. Cambria was certain they would've broken up by now.

The subject of Jackson and Natalia's relationship was one she could not spend too much time thinking about, as she knew it was something she'd never grasp. It remained the biggest enigma of their friendship.

The good news was that Natalia was going back to school to get her Masters, which meant they'd be spending a lot less time together, and Cambria could have Jackson all to herself.

Until her degree was done, that is.

The thought crossed her mind what she would do if Jackson proposed to Natalia and married her.

Probably die, she surmised.

On Friday night, Jackson was over at Cambria's house to hang out with her, Mara, and Hailey. They popped champagne for no reason and drank it out of coffee mugs.

"Are you sure you have a girlfriend?" Mara pestered Jackson.
"I'm sure."
"You never seem to be with her. You're always with Cambria."
"Not for the last six months I wasn't."
"Touché," Mara replied. "Making up for lost time."
"How did you two meet?" Hailey asked.
"At a bar," they said in unison.
"No thanks to me," Mara said.
"That's true," Cambria said. "I probably never would have left my house otherwise."
"I'm interested to hear more about Hailey," Jackson said, taking a drink of his champagne. "Where did you come from? And how did these two dupe you into living with them? I'm sure it's awful."
"They are quite literally the best," Hailey said. "It feels like we've known each other forever, even though it hasn't even been two months."
"Where you from?"
"Meadowvale. I was living with my boyfriend, but then we broke up, and I had nowhere to go."
"Who broke up with who?"
"I broke up with him."
"Any particular reason?"
"I think I just fell out of love with him."
"That sucks. It happens, I guess."
"Yeah. It's unfortunate, but. I'm happy now. Here."
"Now you can all be single together," Jackson said. "Maybe get a few cats. Become crazy cat ladies."
"I'm not single, you dipshit," Mara said.
"Mara has a boyfriend," Cambria told him.
"Since when?"
"For like, over a year?"
"Well how was I supposed to know that?"
"You've met him."
"When? Where?"
"I don't know, somewhere."
"What's his name?"
"Hayden."
"Hayden. Sounds like a stand-up guy. I'm sure I'd like him."
"I'm pretty sure you guys played pool together at Cognito's."
"Sounds like me. Was I drunk?"
"When are you not?"
"I'd be down to get a cat," Hailey said. "Or a dog."
"Cambria hates dogs," Jackson said.
"You do?"
"Hate's a strong word. I just strongly dislike them."
"You prefer cats?"
"Yes."
"She's weird like that," Jackson said. "Who doesn't like dogs? Weirdos."
"At least I can remember when I meet someone."
"I really don't think I've ever met this guy."
"You definitely did," said Mara. "I think maybe you really are an alcoholic."
"I told you," Cambria said.
"Alright," Jackson continued. "Well at least I didn't date a sociopath for a year."
"Yes, fine, you win there."
"Not like your girlfriend's much better," Mara drank from her cup and averted her eyes.
"I don't really think you can compare my girlfriend to what Cambria dated."
"Fair."
"It wasn't even a year," Cambria said. "Ten months."
"Same shit," Jackson said. "Close enough."
"It's almost been a year since I met him. New Years."
"Barf. Don't remind me."
"Did I ever tell you that I got my period that night?" she said to Jackson.
"Ew."
"While we were having sex."
"Nice. I didn't need to know that."
"It was funny, actually."
"Don't care."

And it was then, finally, that the gears started turning in her brain, mentally counting backwards the weeks to when she would have gotten her period last. She realized, suddenly, that it must have been early October. Before the breakup. Before the hospital.

Over two months ago.

She stood. "We need to go to the pharmacy."
They looked at her, perplexed. "Right now? For what?"
"I need to buy a pregnancy test."

Together, the four of them got into Hailey's car and drove to the nearest drugstore. Jackson and Hailey waited in the car while Mara and Cambria went inside and bought three pregnancy tests. Then they went back to the house and Cambria sat in the bathroom alone to pee. Once she was done, she came out and had Mara set a timer.

It was the longest five minutes of her life.

She already knew what the outcome would be, despite how hard she prayed otherwise. But at the same time, there was still a small part of her that held out hope, that this was one big misunderstanding, and there'd be a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why her period was so late.

No one spoke a word, not even Jackson, who under normal circumstances, could not shut up.

Once the timer was up, Cambria grabbed Mara's hand, and together, they went into the bathroom to check the results. All three tests read positive.

At first, she was in shock. Her brain couldn't make the connection that the two parallel lines meant that she had a baby growing inside of her. She felt like an interloper looking in on her life, unable to fully grasp the situation for what it was. It wasn't until she heard Mara mutter, "fuck," that she finally broke down.

The four of them sat in the living room. No one touched the champagne. Cambria lay with her head on Jackson's lap, a pile of tissues crumpled beside her. Mara finally broke the silence when she said, "But who's the father?"

Cambria lifted herself from Jackson's lap and sat up. "What do you mean?"
"What about the guy from the bar?"
Jackson looked at her. "What guy from the bar?"
Cambria had nearly forgotten about that. "Oh, fuck."
"Did you use a condom?" Mara asked.
"Yeah. We did."
"Okay, so then it's Lawson's, right?"
"It has to be."
"Aren't you on a birth control?"
"I was. I'm not anymore."
"But back then... you were?"
"Yeah. But clearly it didn't work."
"Clearly."
"What guy from the bar?" Jackson asked again.
Cambria rolled her eyes and returned to his lap. "Don't remind me."
Jackson looked to Mara.
"That's the guy she cheated on Lawson with."
"Oh."
"But it can't be his," Cambria said. "Right?"
"Right."
"Are you going to tell Lawson?" Hailey asked.
They all turned to look at her. "No."
"Do you know what you're going to do?"

The answer was obvious. She wasn't ready to be a mother – not even close. And she most certainly was not going to give birth to anything that came from Lawson. She would never delude herself into thinking she had such power to change genetics. He was a bad apple. And every bad apple came from a seed. She would not be the one responsible for bringing this seed to fruition. Plus, if he ever found out, she'd be tethered to him for life.

She grabbed the champagne bottle from the coffee table and drank whatever remained.

"Fetal alcohol syndrome," Jackson remarked. "Love it."
"That's probably what happened to Lawson," she replied.

Shortly after that was when they all headed upstairs to bed. Jackson stayed the night with Cambria. She cried until there were no tears left. Then they smoked a joint out her bedroom window, gazing up at the night sky.

"Do you remember what you told me," Jackson said, "that night we talked about kids?"
"Which part?"
"If you had a daughter, what you would name her."
"Yeah," she said. "Wynter."
"Keep it in your back pocket. For later."
"I will."

If she was going to have a baby, it was going to be on her own terms. With the right person, at the right time. And it would be created from love, not hatred.