Just the Coffee Boy. Promise.

BOYYYY WHO GAVE THAT CHILD NUKES???

The vigilante’s screams were cut off as they were thrown into a snowy tundra. Wind whistled through both their ears and frost nipped at their skin.

“Why the FUCK would you do that!” The vigilante marched over to Wilbur smacking him in the chest and knocking Wilbur onto his ass. Coldness began to seep through Wilbur’s clothes.

“You can’t just come into my brain and act like you own the place! You obnoxious fuckin’ prick. Go fuck yourself.” The vigilante kicked a pile of snow directly into Wilbur’s face and began to march towards the looming shadow of a mansion.

Wilbur dusted the snow off, scoffed, and then ran after the guy. He definitely did not want to get stuck in this mess. He fell into step beside Theseus, “So where are we?”

Theseus stayed silent continuing to march towards the large dark oak mansion that was slowly coming into view.

“Oh come on we’re here now might as well start giving me the answers that I’m going to find anyway.”

Theseus once more did not respond and continued to walk. 

Wilbur eventually gave up on trying to get an answer from the vigilante and just walked next to him. 

As they neared, two more figures became clear. 

One, cloaked and crouched down, was the farthest away. They seemed to simply be viewing the situation, not moving at all.

The second was walking in the same direction. As they approached the figure, Wilbur noticed the frost across their brow and the determination set in their face.

Theseus recognized this and began to make a dash for the mansion. Wilbur sighed huffing a breath of dry cold air before chasing after Theseus.

Warm air assaulted his skin when the vigilante opened the mansion doors.

The inside of the mansion was homey, decorated with pictures of a short ram hybrid and a very tall enderman hybrid. And in the more recent looking photos there was a little zombie pigman, smiling and hugging both of the hybrids.

It was sweet. 

Thesesus barged in and collapsed on a L couch near the fireplace sighing dramatically. However without a moment of peace, someone barged in.

“Holy Prime it’s cold out there! Ranboo?! Tubbo?! You there?”

The figure they had walked past burst through the door with a flourish. He was covered in snow, bright blonde hair stringy and wet. The viligate on the couch froze and turned to look at the boy in the doorway.

There was something about the way that Theseus looked at the boy, longing maybe? He couldn’t tell. Maybe the boy was a brother or something. 

“Tubs? Ranboo? Micheal?” The boy ignored Theseus’s and Wilbur’s presences in favor of ascending a staircase to, probably, the rest of the house.

The boy scrambled up it like a dog, skipping the first step.

Dumbass.

Wilbur turned to Theseus who was now burying their head into the soft cushions of the sofa. “Theseus?”

Theseus grumbled in acknowledgement.

“Who was that? And who are those other people?”

Theseus stayed quiet. Wilbur wasn’t honestly expecting an answer but sometimes people would rather just tell him at this point than have him snoop around their memories.   

Wilbur stood and started to inspect the home. 

Along the walls hung pictures of a happy family. A short ram hybrid and a very tall enderman hybrid both stood with arms wrapped around a chubby zombie pigman kid. Definitely a strange combination, but who is he to judge?