Jisoo Imagines (gxg)

I'm not ready to let you go (requested)

Author's Note - I cried while writing this. I think it might be one of the saddest things I've ever written. So don't say I didn't warn you.

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"Hey, sunshine." Jisoo smiled as you opened your eyes. "How are you feeling?"

She brushed her thumb across your knuckles soothingly. You don't look like yourself anymore. Both physically and mentally, you're growing exhausted and the struggle to continue to fight is becoming too difficult for you.

That's obvious to everyone, including Jisoo.

But she's still keeping hope.

It gets harder each day to keep it when she can tell the cancer you've fought so hard to beat these last few months is getting the best of you.

The doctors say you only have a couple more days left.

Your family and friends are coming tomorrow, as are the girls and Jisoo's family.

But for today, it's most likely your last day spent with just Jisoo.

She keeps denying it every time the thought comes to her mind.

She refuses to believe it.

"Not well." You said. "I'm tired."

Jisoo swallowed thickly, her heart sinking in her chest a little.

"It's getting to be too much."

"I know." She said as tears started to fill her eyes. "Have I told you how brave you are to have fought so hard for so long? I couldn't have done it."

"I don't know about that last part." You spoke. "I hope it never happens to you but you're stronger than you think you are. Trust me, I never thought I'd make it this long when it first hit. I fought for you and for my family. When you have people you love so much, fighting as long as you can is worth it. Always."

She sniffled as she hung her head.

"You're amazing." She said as she cracked a tearful smile.

Silence hit the air for a moment. Neither of you knew what to say next.

"You know I'll never forget you, right?"

"You better not." You teased and she chuckled.

"I mean it. I'll never move on. I'll never find someone else. Because I'll always love you and only you and I'll make sure you're never forgotten."

"Jisoo, as sweet as that is, you can still remember me and live a happy life while doing so." You said as you used some of your strength to squeeze her hand. "You can fall in love with someone else. I won't mind."

She shook her head, a small sad chuckle leaving her lips.

"I don't think I can ever love someone else as much as I love you."

"You should try. You deserve that. You're still young, you have your whole life ahead of you. I don't want you to spend it in misery, missing me and thinking you can't love someone else because of me. I want that for you."

She stared at you with tears in her eyes.

"You don't understand. You're the only one I want to love. I only want you. The things couples dream of were things we dreamt of. Those are things I don't want with anyone else."

You let out a sad sigh, holding back your tears.

"I wish it didn't have to be this way."

She breathed out a shaky sigh as she closed her eyes.

"It's just not fair. There are so many things you wanted to do."

"But I did them." You assured her. "Jisoo, even if there were things I didn't get to do, that doesn't change the fact that I lived the happiest life I could've. I wouldn't change a single thing. The end is near, my time is near, and when I go I will go knowing that every moment I spent was the greatest ever."

Her lower lip trembled.

"I have amazing parents, amazing friends, three amazing friends that I got to make because of you, and I have the most amazing girlfriend anyone could ever have. I saw so many beautiful things and so many beautiful places as we traveled and saw the world. I wouldn't change anything."

She lowered her head once more.

"Jisoo,"

She started to sob, the tears falling down her cheeks quickly as she trembled.

"Come here. Cuddle with me."

You moved over on the small hospital bed and she laid down next to you.

It was cramped. It clearly wasn't designed for more than one person.

But you made it work.

"I'm not ready to let you go." She sniffled. "I love you so much."

"I know." You said as you exhaled shakily. "I love you too. But I'm getting ready to let go. It's hard."

She knew it wasn't up to her and that if you needed to let go, she had to accept it.

But it was the most painful thing she'd ever have to accept.

"Losing you is going to be the hardest thing I'll ever have to deal with."

"I know." You said as you put your head on hers. "But just remember that I love you."

"I love you more." She said as you both closed your eyes. "Will you please stay for a couple more days? People are coming to see you tomorrow."

"Like I would let go before then." You said. "I've fought this hard this long. I'll make it through."

She knew, after that, there was no promise about how much longer you'd be able to keep going.

But she was going to cherish every single moment that has left to spend with you.