Ego || •KTH• ✔️

The Truth About Kim Taehyung

"You... What?"

Taehyung took the papers from you, sighing and running a hand through his hair. "I suffer from a chronic heart condition. CHF. Chronic heart failure."

"We've been dating for two months, and you haven't told me?!"

"How was I supposed to? I barely talk about it with Jimin. Why do you think we fight a lot? I don't want to talk about it, it's something that I deal with, that's all."

"But Tae, we're in a relationship. This is something I should've known going in. I can't imagine how hard it is to talk about. I really can't, and for that I'm sorry, but I'm supposed to be your other half. This isn't just about you anymore. It's about the people who care about you. Isn't CHF extremely dangerous?"

"About 30% of those diagnosed live for 10 years. About 50% survive 5 years."

"So you could just drop over and die at any moment? Is that what you're saying?"

Taehyung shrugged, peeking down at the bills. "I don't know. I have the best med teams I know working on my treatment, but there's only so much I can do. The odds are, within a couple years, I'll be gone. That's why I resigned. I didn't want to work some stressful CEO job and limit my time even more. I wanted to work in a nice, casual place. I... wanted to be free."

You went over and took the papers from him, dropping them on the ground next to you. Instead, you took his hands and kissed the backs of both of them, shaking your head. "Then I'll help you feel free."

"But I hid this from you. Weren't you just pissed a few seconds ago?"

"Sure," you said, chuckling with no humor in it, "but you're living life to the fullest. So you know what? I'll do the same thing. If you're going to live, then so am I. I'll live with you, but only if you'll let me."

"Why would you do that for me? You'll just be more hurt when the time comes."

"I'd rather stay and make good memories with someone I love. Is that okay with you?"

He toyed your words around in his mind before he grinned, nodding and hugging you. You were quick to hug back, hoping you brought consolation to him. You couldn't imagine what he was going through. He was a young man with a bright future ahead, yet here he was suffering from a disease he couldn't control. One that would eventually be fatal. And that terrified you. Of course it did, how could it not? But he needed you, and you were more than happy to make good memories with him. It would hurt at the end, and maybe it'd be the most painful thing you'd ever experience, but it'd be worth it to be able to say you loved Kim Taehyung.

"Tae, I care about you a lot. Please don't ever keep a secret like this from me again. Or any secrets in general. I know this must've been hard to talk about, so I appreciate you telling me, but..."

"I need to be more open," he said, and his grin eased your rapid mind. "I will be. For whatever it's worth, I'm sorry that I wasn't open right away. To be honest with you, I'm surprised you didn't dump my ass as soon as I told you. If not for the lying, then for the condition."

"Now why would I ever do that? I'm in college to make a difference in the world, but maybe I was aiming too high. It's impossible to change the world, isn't it? There's so much going on. So much to do, so much to see. But that's not what's important. What's important is making small changes, and convincing others to make those changes too. And those changes add up more and more, and then a small thing becomes a big thing. Maybe that's what I should focus on instead. What do you think?"

"I think that sounds like a great idea."

You laughed, "But I still don't want your money. Don't give me your money, please."

Tae kissed the back of your hand, then your forehead, brushing your hair out of your face. "I would never go against your wishes., don't worry. If you don't want money, what am I going to do? Shove it down your throat?"

"I'd hope not. But please do shove something else down my-"

"Sweet moment ruined."

You snickered and ruffled his hair, the man giving you a fake pout you were quick to smile at. Holy shit, you were so in love with him. "What do you want to do?"

He knew right away you didn't mean now. You meant in general. With the time he had left. But you didn't want to sound rude, so you didn't include that part. His expression told you that was a smart move, and he came closer than he had before. Any proximity from Taehyung still had you swooning even after months of a relationship. His closeness lit up something inside you, and his touch left goosebumps wherever his fingers skimmed across. That was without mentioning the way his low tone had your mind fading in and out of focus. Taehyung wasn't perfect. Obviously, he hid something huge from you. But you weren't pissed about it due to the scale of the situation. Regardless, your point stood. He wasn't perfect. And you weren't about to be cheesy and say 'but he's perfect to you'. However, you were convinced he was the perfect boyfriend despite his flaws.

Taehyung had a complexity to him not many had. There was the selflessness mixed with his desire for adventure. That was on top of his randomness, for lack of a better word. He'd dance at parties with the strangest moves, and he'd make funny faces using his hands. Speaking of those deadly hands of his, he'd do peace signs for every single photo possible. It was adorable, and you found yourself picking up some of the same habits because of him. That and biting your nails. Yeah, you bit your nails like crazy now.

"Maybe travel the world. I'd love to be a dad, too. Even if it's just for a minute, I'd love to hold my baby in my arms," he said, and his boxy smile brought all the love you've ever felt for him back into your veins. "Sorry, was that too dramatic?"

"Not even a little. Taehyung, I'll support you, always. No matter what. Even if it's a decision I don't personally agree with, I'll still support you."

"Why? You don't have to do that."

"It's basic human decency. Even if you don't agree with something, you can still respect it and support the person. Or even if you don't want to provide support, you can still respect the other person. Just because you disagree with an idea, or a thing, or a person... that doesn't mean you can't give them the respect they deserve. I'm not about to insult someone because they have a different opinion from me. It's a kindergarten rule. It's a shame not more people know it. It seems like everyone needs to have an opinion on something these days, or people need to have the world revolve around them. They need to dictate how other people think, express, and feel if it doesn't match what they think. But it's not about them. Or me, or even you. Just live your life, y'know?" You paused, grunting. "Shit, I went on a whole rant, didn't I?"

"A little, but it was a cute."

"Gosh, I'm so grateful for you. Most people would've judged the shit outta me for that one."

"Well, I never said I wasn't judging you."

You nudged him, and he mimicked the gesture, chuckling at your action. He kept his adorable little grin, and he let out a soft breath. You tilted your head, resisting the urge to kiss him. "Something wrong?" you asked.

"No, no. Not to be sappy, but I'm grateful for you too. You're so kind to me. You're a good person, Y/n."

"Don't call me that. Don't give me that credit. I'm still in university, I'm still working myself out and becoming who I want to be. I blew up at my friends in the past, I caused a rift between my family and I just recently, I skip classes all the time because I don't want to go... I'm not good, but I'm trying to be. I'm getting there, and a lot of that is because you inspire me to be better. And this whole thing? We'll get through it together, okay?"

His eyes expanded at your words, but none of that was from shock. Rather from admiration. His irises displayed his love and passion, his fingers rubbing over the back of your hands and soothing your racing heart. And then, he opened his mouth to speak...

"Okay."