Beautiful Scars

chapter 14

It was Saturday.
I had my session with Angelina in an hour. I didn't feel like it. I never felt like it. I had nothing to talk about, nothing to say, nothing to express. My emotions were dull and filled with nothingness. I had hatred building up inside me, but I was numb. Numb like the feeling you get from being too cold, numb like the feeling you get when you run so much and can't feel your legs, numb like the feeling you get when you have pins and needles. I felt nothing. But behind being numb I knew there was a bottle of emotions waiting to be popped open. And I wasn't going to let it. Not now at least. Not with Angelina. I knew she was good and I trusted her to some extent. It didn't help the fact that she worked for a place I so badly despised.

An hour went by.

"Sit." She smiled, pointing towards a chair. We were already off to a bad start. The first thought that flickered into my mind was the fact that she treated me like a dog. "Sit" I was a human being, and even though she didn't mean it that way, that way was the only way I took it.

"Now, Mag told me that she has let you know about the tests. Honestly, I think these sessions have been helping and you look in much better condition. So don't let that stress you out." I rolled my eyes in my head.

"I'm not stressed out." I forced a smile, she could tell.

"Okay that's good. Now she also told me that she mentioned to you something about your mother. Apparently it was quite traumatic. I don't know what happened and I'm here for you if you'd like to tell me, if not, that's okay. Then I would at least like to hear your emotions." She spoke in a soft, smooth tone. Hoping that would suck me into her little trap.

"I don't feel anything. She's not my mother and I don't want anything to do with her. End of story. Look, everything's been fine. I'm coping well and I have Mag and Michael with me. I appreciate your help, but honestly I just need to keep living as though I'm a normal teenager. Its been helping the most so far." I suggested, my tough approach didn't work very well last time. I almost ended up back in the asylum. I'm hoping that by showing that I'm happy she will let this go and I won't have to put up with this torture,

"Honey, counselling is quite normal for teenagers. In fact most just have a counsellor to let off some steam not for anything in particular." she retaliated I could see that irritation was slowly increasing in her mood. She didn't have the patience to put up with me anymore.

"None of my friends have counsellors. Angelina, when I have something to talk about I will contact you by all means. But right now I'm perfectly fine and I don't have anything to say, so why don't we leave it at that and call it a day?" I smiled sweetly and passionately. I acted like I care about her, when I don't. Not really anyway.

She looked defeated. She knew I wouldn't let this go, which is good. I didn't want her to win this battle.

"Fine." she sighed. She seemed ever so slightly less tense knowing that she no longer had to deal with me,

"Thank you." I finished. She got up and wished me well and before I knew it she was out the door.

My phone started ringing. I picked up, it's not Michael and it's not Jordy. It's Alex.

"What's up?" I asked,

"A bunch of us are going bowling, you're coming with us. I'll pick you up in twenty so be ready." He doesn't ask if I'd like to come, he just tells me that I am. I smiled. So this is what having friends feels like?

"Woah, okay, okay. I'll try my best with my busy schedule and all, but should be fine." I joked, he knows I'm joking. Why would I have a busy life?

"Well aren't you just the finest prankster." he laughed "I'll see you soon." I could hear the smile in his voice as he said the words. I put the phone down and started to get ready. For a split second all my thoughts about my mother and father went away. Like a wave had swept over my mind and washed them to shore.

His car pulled up in my drive way twenty five minutes later. He knocked on the door and I made him wait a bit just to make sure I didn't seem too eager. The reality was, however, that I couldn't wait. I couldn't wait to just be free, because when I was with them, when I was with Michael, I didn't feel isolated or trapped. I felt the opposite, I felt free and youthful and happy. A true happiness that didn't feel forced or put-on. A happiness that made me feel brighter then the stars, when I once felt as dark as the sky.

"You're late." Was my first sentence. I wasn't mad, I couldn't be mad even if I tried,

"And we're going to be even later if you don't hurry up. Let's go." Alex grabbed my hand and dragged me to his car. He opened the passenger door and let me climb in.

"Who else is going to be there?" I asked,

"The usuals. Michael, Jordy, Mel and Lucas." Thank god that Mia wasn't going to be there. I didn't want to ever lay my eyes on her again after the incident that happened.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Alex's eyes widened in participation, I could tell that was a yes, "You know I'm ninety nine point a hundred percent sure that Lucas is gay." I blurted out, a small laugh comes with it. Alex started laughing too,

"Have you gone bonkers Chloe!? Lucas, Lucas! Gay? I couldn't imagine so," there's a slight hesitation "but then again... I might actually agree with you."

"Think about it. Now I don't like stereotyping people, but he dresses flawlessly, he's overly emotional and he's always catching glances of all you boys' butts. That part really gave it away if I'm honest." I joked, Alex catches on and starts laughing with me. I don't think I've ever laughed like this in ages.

"I suppose. Oh no now I'm scared. What if when we're bowling he tries to sneak a peak in? I mean I know my structured bum cheeks are quite hard not to stare at, but I couldn't imagine Michael wanting to. And bowling! Bowling is the perfect opportunity to do so, with all that bending over!" He added to my joke, I know he's not actually scared. If anything he's flattered.

After a moment of hysterical laughter we both calm down,

"But don't say anything. He will come out in his own time. I wouldn't want to ruin that for him." I said in all seriousness. This is a dark secret for anyone and only when he is ready will anyone else ever know of it.

"So you haven't told Michael?" Alex asked me with a furrow in his eye brows,

"Michael and I don't exactly talk about those things."

AN!!!
Hey guys :) I'm doing a new thing where I will only upload the next chapter if I get 5+ votes. This is only because I don't want to just overflow chapters on top of everyone if they're not even up to date with the story and this will also give me an indication of when you're ready for the next chapter.

As well I'm writing this story for people to read and enjoy and learn. And I only feel like it actually means something when you guys show me it means something. So by voting and commenting on each chapter it really shows me that you enjoy my writing and something that is dear to my heart. So please vote and comment if you want the next chapter :))))

thanks lovelies xxxx