Beautiful Scars

chapter 15

A silence filled the air. It felt - quite frankly - unconditionally comfortable. Almost as if it was needed.

"He's one lucky guy." Alex blurted out of the blue,

I don't want this. I don't want him to want me or anything beyond. I like him, in fact I feel a connection with him. Physical and mental. But I don't want us.

"Alex-"
he interrupted me,

"Look I'm not chasing you or anything. But I'm not going to be subtle about my feelings towards you. I don't love you or anything, god no. Sorry but I don't do that love. However, you're incredibly astonishing and utterly fascinating that I cannot resist to fathom in your territory. And I don't care if you feel uncomfortable or unworthy towards it, I'm going to do it anyway. So shut up and deal with my compliments." I small smile tugged at my lips. I wanted to hug him so badly right then, but that would've been inappropriate at that point in time.

We were parked in the bowling parking lot. The car was off but we did not move.

"Can I ask you something?" Alex started. I nodded. "Do you believe in labels, or like, I dunno. Categorisation? Groups? I guess."

I think about this for a while.

"Not quite. Not hardly. We can categorise things, because there aren't different dimensions or perspectives of it. It's used for something and everyone uses it for that one thing it was made for. People aren't like that. People have different dimensions. Different sides to them and you can't categorise something this is uncontrollable. You can't categorise people who don't fit into only one category. You can't make an infinite category, because then it isn't a category at all. You can't say someone's a nerd if they read, because what if they're the total opposite of a 'nerd'? What even are nerds or dorks? You can't put someone in a 'jerk' category just because they didn't love you the way you wanted them to. You can't call someone an actress if they cook as well. You can't call someone 'a gay' because they don't just like boys. They might like coffee or sunsets too. You know what I'm saying? Categorisation towards the uncategorised is impossible even if it's done or should I say attempted."

He thinks too.

"Fuck." He shakes his head, "That's fucking brilliant." He started to applaud me.

"Why'd you ask?"

"Because earlier you said you didn't like to stereo type people. And categorisation is kind of similar to stereo typing people." He shrugged. Again I felt the desire to hug him. This time I did.

"You know my older brother was in his uni physics lecture. Actually it was his exam or whatever and the lecturer walked in, put a chair in the middle of the room and said to them "Explain to me why this is not a chair." then he left the room without further depth. And you know what? The only person who managed to get an A was the guy who wrote 'what chair?'"

He doesn't go further into the story. He doesn't explain his thoughts. He just gets out of the car and walks towards the entry of the building, leaving the story to hang in the air. It stuck to me. It stuck to me like glue.

******************
Michaels POV

Alex and Chloe entered the building. She seemed like she was in a deep thinking process. Her mind was definitely somewhere other then right here. She looked amazing, however. She looked amazing, because she looked so confused. She looked like a lost puppy. A cute one. When they came closer I went up to her and hugged her tightly. Savouring the embrace of her warmth. Of her touch.

"You seem distant." I mentioned, her face sliced back into reality.

"No. No. It's nothing. Come on let's go." She grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the bowling alley.

"Are you sure everything's alright?" I didn't want to annoy her but I cared so deeply about her. It was my gut instinct to protect her.

"Michael, please. Now is not the time." Is all I got back,

"That's not a yes." I pushed, the anger was evident on her face.

"No it wasn't. It was a 'now is not the time' figure out the difference." she snapped and then she walked away to Jordy.

I went to Alex.

"Did something happen on the way here?" I asked. We were sitting at the bowling alley booth. Lucas was busy bowling, it was my turn next.

"No? Why you asking?" Alex seemed confused so I didn't suspect it was him,

"She's really on edge."

"She was fine with me." Then it was my turn. I couldn't concentrate properly on where I should place the ball so I ended up knocking seven pins down. She may have seemed fine to Alex, because he doesn't understand her like I do. He doesn't understand that she's not fine and she never has been.

She was with hanging out with Lucas and Jordy, but she wasn't in the moment. Her physical body was just placed there. Her mind was not. It was tearing me up inside that I couldn't make everything better, that she wouldn't let me help her. She was beginning to take over my whole existence, she was what I thought about before I went to bed and the reason I woke up in the morning. She was what consumed my mind and everything that came with it. She was the bliss in the breeze and the meaning in the rain. She was my whole world. And she didn't even know.

Before it reached her turn I decided to go to her, I hadn't known her long but from the very start I knew our souls were in some way connected. I slowly cupped her hand in mine and gave her a soft smile. Her eyes immediately warmed, as if she knew this was my way of apologising. I bent lower so that my mouth was in line with her ear and whispered the words "I'm sorry, forgive me?" she gave a slight nod and that was all I needed.

"Michael." she whispered so delicately I felt as if I could break her with a single touch,
"Yes?" I asked, returning the whisper.
"I... Uh I've never done this before." she admitted, she looked defeated as if she blamed herself for being locked up basically her whole life, it made my insides turn and I clenched my jaw trying to calm myself,
"It's okay. I'll help you." I squeezed her hand and led her to the front of the lane, where I picked up the lightest ball so it was easy for her weak arms to hold, then placing my body against hers I slowly did the motion of moving the ball backwards then forwards, letting her release the ball at the right moment for the ball to hit the ground and go rolling.
She got a strike and she turned around with the biggest smile on her face and light in her eyes that I couldn't help but kiss her on the lips. She was shocked at first but slowly caught up with the motion, her lips were soft and smooth as I slowly caressed them with mine, she tasted like sweet candy and I had to force myself to let go still aware there were people around. But before I stepped away I leaned my forehead against hers and smiled against her lips,
"Good job, baby."

AN VERY VERY IMPORTANT!!!
okay so I haven't updated in a while and I apologise. I lost interest in the story and didn't really know where it was heading, I also got really busy and haven't had a lot of time.

but... I've recently had knee surgery and can't do any sport so I have a lot of free time on my hands and I'm excited to see where the story goes from here. it's hard work juggling everything around so bare with me!!! but my offer still stands you only get a new chapter if I see you guys votinggggggg!!! I hope you enjoy this chapter and look forward to more coming :)))