Sorry for the long wait. I tried.
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CHAPTER 32:
[ ROSÉ ]
"You should find her."
"Who?" I asked Suzy.
We are currently at the park. We are freely strolling around with our disguise.
"Lisa."
"Why would i find someone i don't care about?"
"You still care, Rosie. Deep in your heart, you are wondering where she is and how she is." She sighed.
"I'm not jealous or anything. I should be, right?" She giggled.
I only looked at her.
"But i wasn't jealous. I never felt jealousy or mad at Lisa. The time we've been together were the best but i felt like we're just friends who kisses each other once in a while."
"No?" That's the only word i could reply.
I don't have anything in mind, really. It's just blank. Her words barely registers in my head.
She smiled. "We are, Rosie. Even Jisoo could see it. Even our managers can say the same. We only look like friends trying to see if we can work well as girlfriends.
We've been happy. We're always there for each other. Ups and downs. We save each other when one falls down. But we both knew deep inside of us, we search for something. In your case, you know what it is. You know who it is." She continued.
I didn't reply.
"You should find her." She repeated.
I sighed. "I'm tired of everything." I finally voiced out.
"Since the beginning, i feel like i'm always the one chasing her. I'm always the one who wants more. I'm always the one to give more but barely received anything in return but heartbreak."
"Do you? Really?" She asked.
"Yes!" I groaned in frustration. Starting to get frustrated at how she thinks low of my feelings.
"I feel like i'm just her temporary support. And when i'm already used to her presence, she's gone who knows where.
I asked myself when i will be the priority. I asked myself when i will be worth something over her insecurities."
She looked at me incredulously.
"Yeah, i know! It's weird that i'm jealous over her insecurities. It's just... everything including me vanished once she gets strucked by her insecurities."
"What is she insecured about?"
I shrugged. "I'm not even sure about it anymore."
"Then you don't even know her at all."
"I agree. I don't know her anymore." I smiled bitterly.
She stopped on her tracks. So i stopped too.
"Well then, maybe you should let her go. But if there's still one thing about her that is familiar to you, you should find and get her back."
"What?"
"Do you still remember her favorite color?"
"Yes. It's yellow even though she find it kind of disgusting because it's too bright." I replied.
"What was her favorite movie?" She asked again.
"Frozen..No, it's Tangled. She always sing the songs used in that movie whenever she feels happy."
"Her favorite flower?"
"Lily just because she said it's like her nickname lili."
"Her favorite place?"
"Fingal! She fell in love in that place when i first brought her there." I unconsciously smiled
"You do know her, Rosie."
Yeah.
She clears her throat. "I can help you find a plane ticket at the nearest hour, you know?"
I put my hands at my hoodie pockets.
"Let's just..go and enjoy this free time."
She nodded.
.
.
.
"LM label officially announced Jennie Kim as the CEO..."
Jennie's face plastered on the screen with her cold aura. The reporter kept talking about the company performance and its artists.
"Jennie's the new owner?"
I glanced at Alice whose munching some pizza. She came to my apartment unannounced and now eating all my foods.
"CEO only i guess." I replied.
"You were too focused watching the news and it doesn't even register what the reporter saying?" She put down the box on the table and made herself comfortable in the bean bag.
I only shrugged my shoulders and took a slice.
"Are you really sure you don't want to find her? You know i can give you the place she went into." She asked.
"I'm fine on my own." I replied.
"Are you really sure you want to move on without her in your life?"
"Yes."
"She's your bestfriend, your puppy love, your first love and your everything. Are you really sure you wanna move on?"
"Yes."
"Lisa is moving to another country and stay there for good. She'll cut all her connections and live simply." She shared.
"Why are you telling me this? I already answered you that i have no business with her anymore and i don't care wherever hell she is right now." I squinted my eyes on her.
She shrugged. "Maybe pushing you to pursue what your heart really wants?"
"Unnie, i already told you---"
"Yeah, i know. But this is the last time i'm gonna try my luck. I won't ask you anymore after this day." She said.
"You still love her. Because you shouldn't be spacing out here when you should be in the practice room right now."
I sighed.
"Can you please let me be in peace, unnie? My head is about to explode."
"Alright. I'll leave you alone. If you need her info, call me." She smiled.
I nodded.
When i'm all alone, i put Taylor's folklore on play.
Lisa, why are you so ???
I groaned in frustration.
.
.
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I wrote/typed this while at work.
Happy birthday to me 😁
