The russian one

Chapter 18 : bad timing

Nat's POV

Arriving at Y/n's door I saw that Clint followed me.

"JARVIS, what is Y/n's condition?" asked Clint.

"Miss Y/n has eight broken ribs, a broken nose and hasn't eaten in two days."

"Oh my god..." muttered Clint. Oh my God indeed

"I think it's best if I go alone," I said. He nodded, still in shock from what he had just heard. Then he started to leave.

"I'll make her a sandwich," he said as he left.

I watched him leave and then turned to the door of Y/n. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. No answer... I wasn't really expecting one but maybe she passed out and just can't answer. I knocked again and put my ear to the door. I heard a faint yes. I opened the door and saw Y/n sitting on her bed, staring ahead. I examined her room and saw her bloody clothes in the corner. I then examined her and saw that she was clean, her face was indeed deformed by her broken nose and the bruises covering it. Breathing looks like it hurts. She really looks like she's in bad shape. She then put her emotionless eyes on me for a brief moment before bringing them back to face her.

"Of all the people who could have come to see me, you are the last one I would have expected." she said weakly.

"Steve told me what happened. He told me you knew."

"So what? You came so you could take it out on me too? To get your revenge? Go ahead, feel free. I won't fight back." she said in a bloody tone. "I deserve it anyway..." she added with a sigh. So the other agents had a good run at her huh? The thought made my blood boil.

"Don't talk nonsense Y/n. I would never take it out on you. What those agents did was unacceptable." I told her firmly. She laughed sarcastically. She worries me, seeing her like this breaks my heart. She turned her gaze to me and I saw the emptiness in her eyes.

"It had to happen sometime. I'm sure you've been itching for it all along and now seeing me like this gives you immense happiness. You must be disappointed to have missed the show, huh?" What she said shocked me, does she really think I hate her that much? Damn it Nat. I slowly approached her bed.

"Of course not Y/n." She huffed. "Listen to me Y/n, it's true that at first I was mad at you, I was having a hard time accepting your presence and I wanted us to keep you in a cell but that was hypocritical of me. I understand how you feel Y/n. And -"

"No you don't!" she snapped. "You have no idea what it's like to be hated by everyone, to learn that you're not who you thought you were, to learn that you've killed over 100 people for an organization that's always treated you like nothing, to learn that you're really just a killing machine, a monster! You don't know what it's like to understand why people hate you and share their opinion. You don't know what it's like to hate yourself more than others hate you..." she tells me, screaming at first and then whispering towards the end. She is now in tears. "I hate myself so much..." she added in a sob. I then take her in my arms and she breaks down in my arms.

"I understand Y/n. Believe me, I understand more than you think." I whispered to her, adding soft words from time to time. She came out of the hug, wiped her eyes then looked at me. The sight of her eyes so sad broke my heart.

"Do you hate me that much?" she asked me, her voice breaking. I frowned and smiled sweetly at her. I shook my head no.

"No, of course not Y/n. I don't hate you." I replied in a soft voice.

Y/n's POV