Saving Boston (Rewritten)

Prologue

They told me I was going to survive without her. One day, she will be nothing but a memory, or so they say. Everyone said it would be okay. None of them could tell me how to move on, but they say it is possible, even though they don't know when the process starts or how it will begin. I was alone with my thoughts, again. All anybody could say was it was for the better.

I felt sixteen again, snorting whatever the man I met on the streets had in his pocket for a low price. Las Vegas got me high, but she made me feel low. Since arriving, every morning, I wake up to another warm body next to mine. The curls spread against the pillow weren't enough to soothe the discomfort. They weren't soft enough. They weren't curly enough. They weren't her.

No matter how many hours I spent between someone else's legs, I couldn't bury the emotions coursing through my veins. Their body didn't mold against mine, and when my thumb grazed their hips, I didn't feel the scar from that stupid fucking shopping cart incident she was in.

I tried to fill the pieces, but the girls from Vegas weren't what was missing. The curly-haired girl with caramel eyes kept me whole. And as I try to make myself feel complete again, I am staring down a white line on the table with shaky hands before my fight because I know she won't be there. I know she wouldn't be in the seat reserved just for her, wearing the t-shirt with my name on the back. She wouldn't be there to remind me what I was fighting for.

And when I stepped into the arena, my head could barely stay straight. John screamed at me from one side of the room, causing the pounding in my head to intensify. I pressed the bottle of alcohol to my lips, finishing off the cheap vodka from the corner store, before tossing it into the trashcan next to me. I wasn't sure if my chest was on fire from the liquid that tasted like rubbing alcohol or the inability to remember how many drugs I snorted before climbing into the suburban that brought me here.

My body tensed as fingers gripped my cheeks. "Look at me, kid."

I tried to focus on John as he kept my head still. "What did you take, Kinnick?"

"Nothing that is working," I mumbled. "I need something stronger."

"You have been sober for three years," his voice cracked.

My shoulders shrugged as my back fell against the cement wall. "I can't find a reason anymore."

John turned around, looking back toward the men behind him. "Call it off. Tell them we are forfeiting the match."

"What?" I snapped. "No -"

"Get Jimmy's number," he said without listening to me. "Tell him I will pay whatever I have to -"

"Jimmy?" My body struggled to stand. "I am not going back there!"

"You need help!" A tear strayed from John's eye as he stared at me. "Do you know how many times I almost lost you? I won't go through that again! I am not your fucking parents, Kinnick. I will not sit back and watch you ruin everything you have worked for! I won't let you kill yourself!"

Before I could say another word, everything came up. John called out to someone for a rag as he pulled the trashcan over to me. As the bitter burn of Vodka continued to pour into the container in front of me, John talked to someone on the phone.

"John," I laid over the trashcan. "I'll do whatever you want, but don't send me back there."

"Kinnick, you can barely keep your head up."

"I'll come to stay with you," I winced at the taste in my mouth. "Whatever you want. Just don't take me to Jimmy. I can't go there again."

"He helped you -"

"I can't be alone with everything that is on my mind, John," tears welled in my eyes as I slipped out of consciousness. "Please."

"We need to get him to a hospital," someone's voice called through the room.

"Somebody help!" A voice boomed through the hallway. "We need help!"

Just as I felt the weakness flush through my body and I wasn't strong enough to keep myself up anymore, I collapsed to the ground. As my eyes fluttered, I felt John turning me to sit straight. Before everything went black, I heard him begging like he did every time I fucked up -

"Please, don't take him from me."