Saving Boston (Rewritten)

How Could You Do That To Somebody?

The way her lips molded against mine made it easy to relax. These past few years, I stood on the edge. The curly-haired girl's hand is in mine, bringing me back from the ledge as I dared to jump. Now my body is falling back onto the bed of my satin sheets as she climbed on top of me. It was how she whispered how much she missed me on my lips that coaxed me back from the doors of insanity, but I knew what I felt for her wasn't sane.

My hands were hesitant to touch her body as if police marked her skin with caution tape. Never have I been the one to follow the rules, but if she had built a wall of boundaries, I wouldn't be the one to knock them down. I couldn't be the wrecking ball this time. So, I would stand at the doors until she opened them again.

Just as she started tugging at the bottom of my shirt, the sound of distant ringing broke us apart. I pressed myself onto my elbows as she climbed off my lap. Confusion painted my expression as her reddened cheeks were the last thing I saw before she slipped away. Bo had never been nervous with me unless we were doing something she wasn't accustomed to, but we have kissed plenty of times. Yet, I am sitting here, wondering what I did wrong.

When her voice started floating through the apartment, I stood from my bed to discover if something had happened. My fingers raked through my hair as I walked through the hallway before finding her in the living room. She paced the floor, smiling at whatever the other person said. It wasn't that I wanted to be the only thing that made her happy, but I wanted to qualify. Lately, it doesn't feel like I am good enough to rank.

My shoulder leaned against the doorway as I stared at her with my arms crossed over my body. "Everything okay?"

She tucked her phone away as she nodded. "Yeah - that was John."

"Oh."

"He was calling to make sure everything was okay."

My head bobbed softly as I stepped toward her. "And what did you say?"

"Aside from the pain, everything is perfect."

"You can go lay down; I'll bring you something."

As she walked down the hallway, she stopped near my side long enough to press a kiss on my bare shoulder. My eyes fluttered shut as the gentle touch made my muscles relax. When her phone started to ring, I worried that someone planned on taking her away from me. As the distant sound of her feet padding against the hardwood floors turned silent, I pushed away from the wall to find pain relievers.

The pills rattled in the bottle as I snatched them from the kitchen counter. My feet padded on the ground, carrying me closer to her. Before I could step through the corridor of my bedroom, I saw her reading over a stack of papers on my dresser. My shoulder pressed into the doorway as I watched her read over whatever information I laid at her disposal. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she looked up from the documentation with parted lips.

My gaze fell to the ground because the look in her eyes is one I have seen enough in my life to understand that even the woman I love most in this world fears me. I clenched my jaw to hold back the dam of emotions crashing against the walls I had built up not to show any emotion.

"You were the one who fractured that man's jaw."

My eyes gently shut. "Bo -"

"The report said the man's alcohol levels were so high," she choked. "It was past the legal limit."

As guilt flushed through my body, she continued talking. "I saw the pictures. It was a week after I was attacked, and my firm asked me to take the case, but after what happened, I couldn't. His eye socket had been fractured. Plastic surgeons installed metal plates into his jaw to reinforce the bone structure. How could you do that to somebody, Kinnick? What would even push you to that point?"

"I don't know," I mumbled through heavy emotions. "I can't remember -"

"You can't remember?" She choked. "That man is suffering right now, and you can't even remember why you did it -"

"Please," I shake my head. "Just stop."

"Why do you insist on being the man everyone says you are?"

My gaze lifted from the floor. "Because I am that man."

"No, you are not!"

"I hurt people, Bo!" My voice echoed through the apartment. "That is what I fucking do!"

"You aren't that man -"

"Then why did you leave me?" I snapped. "If I don't hurt people, why aren't you at home with me? Why can't you fucking talk to me without your hands shaking? If I didn't hurt people, you would still be here."

"I am standing in front of you, right now!"

"But your fucking mind is elsewhere!" My voice raised. "Do you think I cannot see that shit? I notice everything about you, Bo. When you talk to me, your fingers start to twitch. When I walk into a room, your breath hitches. I don't still you anymore."

"I don't know how to act around you -"

"You don't have to act," I gestured toward her. "Just be your fucking self."

"How?" She let out a scream. "I don't even know who I am anymore!"

"And I still love you," my jaw clenched. "Every version of yourself that you gave me, I loved. Every inch. Every bit. I fucking loved all of you."

"I love you, Kinnick," she sighed. "You'll have me in a way that no one else ever will, but -"

"If you are going to give me a shit reason we can't be together, then fucking leave because I cannot keep doing this."

She swallowed harshly as her eyes glossed over. "Kinnick, there are a million reasons as to why we shouldn't be together, but here I am, standing in front of you, holding onto the one reason that makes me stay."

"I have nothing to fucking offer you," my voice cracked the hard tone, making me realize she was the only person that made me crumble. "I don't need you or anyone else to tell me I don't deserve you; I knew that the night I saw you at the party. But for once, I wondered when it was my fucking turn to win."

"Kinnick -"

"I think you should leave."

"Wait -"

"No," a tear smacked the wooden floor below me before I could brush it away to stare at the girl before me. "It's time to go."

Without saying another word, she moved toward her sandals next to my bed. I watched her small feet slip into her flip-flops as she snatched her keys from the end table. The sound of her keys sounded like warning bells. Something told me she wasn't coming back if I let her walk through that door, but I wasn't going to reach out to stop her.

Just as I heard the elevator ding, I collapsed to my knees. She was fucking leaving me again, and for the first time, I did nothing to stop her. In fact, I would encourage her to get as far away from me as she could.