Saving Boston (Rewritten)

Home Was With Me

My fingers tightened around the steering wheel as I drove down the street without a destination. She didn't say a word, but I didn't need her to. Brian told me nobody would answer her phone calls, and when he came knocking, she promised everything was okay.

The curly-haired girl next to me didn't know I threatened her boss into hiring a security guard for their firm at my recommendation. Now I never have to worry about Bo being attacked in her office again. It has been difficult to sleep without knowing she was lying next to me. No one else could keep her safe. Not like I could.

So, I asked her why she called me. Was it a mistake, or did she get embarrassed? I wanted to see if I was the first person or the last on her mind. It didn't matter either way as long as she thought about me. All I wanted to hear was that after everything, she still thought about me. Even if it was something stupid, I wanted to know she couldn't forget about me.

"I didn't mean to -"

"But how did you click on my name?"

Her face turned to stare outside. "I always scroll past your name."

My heart started to race. "Why?"

"Sometimes, I just wonder what you are doing."

The aching in my chest told me not to look at her again, but I did anyway. I needed to torture myself. I craved to see her button nose and the hint of kissable pink on her lips. After the hug she gave me, I wanted to know if she was looking too. Did she miss me as severely as I missed her?

When we pulled up to a red light, I eased on the brake, and I stole a glance in her direction. She had her head leaning on the window, staring at the buildings in front of us. Her sweet scent disrupted the cigarette smell brewing in my car.

I spent months chain-smoking to get rid of her fragrance. Dust built up on the dash, and alcohol bottles piled on the floor. I would do anything to hide traces of Bo until I realized it was never going away. So, I stopped driving and started walking wherever I needed to go.

"Why didn't you call Luke?"

"I did."

"And?"

"And nothing," her voice cracked. "He never answered."

I gripped the steering wheel tighter. "He didn't answer you?"

"Yes," she snapped. "Is that what you want to hear? Did you want to hear that he doesn't care if I am safe or even answer when I call?"

My jaw clenched as my teeth ground against one another. "What makes you think that?"

"Don't act like you don't," her hand wiped a tear from her face so quickly I almost didn't notice it.

Her small hands gripped her seatbelt as I pulled my truck over to the side of the road. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Kinnick -"

I threw my truck into park, "I wanted to hear you're happy and life has been better since I left. I wanted you to tell me you and Luke are in love and that he's everything you've ever wanted. Even if you aren't dating, I wanted you to find somebody else. I wanted you to forget about me and realize shit is easier without me."

"Kinnick -"

"I'm sorry you couldn't introduce me to your dad for the first time over dinner. I'm sorry I couldn't have the awkward dad talk with him. I wanted nothing more than to pick you up for a date and be threatened to bring you home before ten."

"Please stop."

"I'm sorry I got behind the wheel that night drunk," my voice broke, and tears pooled in my eyes. "I'm sorry your mom couldn't see you graduate and celebrate you winning your first case. I'm sorry she couldn't help you decorate your first apartment. I fucked up!"

"But if you think for one second that I would want the worst for you," my voice dropped. "Then you have lost your fucking mind because I love you, Boston. I will go to the ends of this earth to make sure you are safe and that you get everything you deserve in life."

Her face fell into her hands as sobs left her lips, so I continued talking. "I can see the lack of sleep on your face. Do you want to come back to the apartment? You can sleep for as long as you need to. I'll take care of you and make sure you are safe. I'll do whatever I have to so you can rest -"

"Please," she whimpered. "Take me home."

My hand wiped over my face as I nodded, feeling the dam of emotions rushing over me in waves. "Yeah, whatever you want."

"I just want to go with you," she begged. "Take me home with you, please."

I didn't think twice when I pulled a u-turn. My truck's tires shot dust onto the main road as I moved in the direction of our apartment. I wasn't sure what would happen when tomorrow came or when Luke called her, but she told me home was with me, and that was all that mattered.

She wasn't awake to see me taking a long way. Bo wasn't going to question why I went down random streets so she could stay asleep a bit longer. The moment I tried to move her, I knew she would wake up. So, I stayed on the road until my eyes began to falter. I would do whatever I had to do to ensure she got even a little bit of rest.

When I pulled into my garage, I couldn't believe the curly-haired girl was on my side, coming home with me. I felt like a stranger here after years of living in the same loft. Something about not living here with her didn't feel right.

She clung to my body as I lifted her from the truck. Her hands were around my neck as I cradled her like a baby. I would never stop asking myself what I did to deserve her. Even if the moments I spent with her were limited, it meant the world to me to know that I still meant something to somebody. It meant the world to know I still meant something to her.

She made me feel loved. I wasn't used to that. I didn't know how to act when she cuddled me in bed or woke me up with kisses. After falling asleep to a girl I hooked up with, I never showed them any affection. They never showed it back. The only thing I ever knew how to do was protect her and please her. But Bo made it easy to love her. I didn't feel like a stranger to the newly found emotion.

The elevator doors opened to our home. Instead of the couch, I brought her to our bed. I tucked her in with the blankets before I left for the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, telling myself not to fuck up. I looked at myself and tried not to hate the person staring back at me.

A cry pushed past my lips. I couldn't stand my reflection. How could I ask Bo to forgive me when I can't even look at myself for longer than ten seconds? How could I tell Bo to love me when I don't even like myself? I was asking for the impossible.

"Kinnick?"

Hearing her voice seemed to heal the broken pieces in my heart. "Yeah?"

"I can't sleep."

I walked down the hall to see her sitting up on our bed, rubbing her eyes with a look of exhaustion on her face. "What do you want me to do?"

"Lay with me."

My heartbeat accelerated. "Are you sure you want me to lay with you?"

"I wouldn't want you to lay anywhere else," she murmured.

My feet slowly carried me toward where she lay. I proceeded with caution as my hands peeled back the black comforter. When I slid in next to her body, she put space between us. I worried that this wasn't a good idea. As badly as I wanted to wrap her in my arms and bring her to my chest, I knew I couldn't. This could be my last chance, and I couldn't fuck it up.

Before I could speak to her, slight snores came from her side of the bed. My cheek pressed against the pillow as I turned to see her sleeping. Her eyes rested gently as she perched her cheek on the back of her hands. I felt the corner of my lips tugging upward as I stared at m curly-haired girl in all of her beauty. Maybe I'll be able to rest too.

As my eyes started to flutter shut, I heard a soft mumble. "Don't leave me."