Saving Boston (Rewritten)

The Still of the Night

After sinking the winning shot, Bo pointed at Trevor with laughter bursting from her lips. Not long before we started a new game of beer pong, Bo forgot all about our conversation in the bathroom. By the time we came back, Chrissy had fled. My caramel-eyed beauty had drunk too much to truly comprehend what had happened. When morning comes, I hope she forgets all about it. Something told me I never would.

Chrissy's words would haunt me before I laid my head down tonight. I wouldn't be able to close my eyes without replaying how I'll never be good enough for Bo as if I didn't already. My curly-haired girl promised she loved nobody more than me, but what if Chrissy was right? What if Bo ran straight to Luke after hearing I slept with Charlie? Would she do that even after he hurt her?

I leaned down into Bo's ear, promising to be back after soon. She pressed a kiss to my cheek before I left her behind to make fun of Trevor for losing the game of beer pong. My hand raked through my hair at the idea of Bo sleeping with Luke. She told me nothing more serious happened between them, and now I wonder if any of that had been a lie. The curly-haired girl had found it difficult to tell me the truth in our past, so why would she start telling it now?

I raked my hands through my hair as I left the backyard. The wind drifted through the leaves, bringing a calmness to the air around me, but I couldn't shake the feeling causing my heart to flutter.

I never worried about someone lying to me because I never cared enough about anyone to be affected by their inability to tell the truth. Now I am pacing Trevor's front yard as I light the end of a cigarette, wishing for nothing more than the feeling in my chest to go away because I finally met the person who made me question everything in life.

"Kinnick."

I brought the cigarette away from my lips as I turned to meet the eyes of the woman I loved most in this world. "Hi -"

"What did you run away for?" Her eyes fell on my hand. "I didn't know you started smoking."

"Yeah," I clenched my jaw, swallowing harshly as I stared at the ashes falling to the ground. "It's a bad habit I can't learn to break."

"Let's get out of here, yeah?"

"You are having fun -"

"At the expense of your happiness? No, thank you," her fingers gently curled around mine. "Let's go home."

Without saying another word, I let her head me to my truck. She climbed into my driver-side door, unable to disconnect our hands as she encouraged me to slide in next to her. It wasn't until I started the car that our hands finally separated.

"Do you want to talk about what's going on?"

My fingers tightened around the steering wheel. "Not tonight."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"After finding out about Charlie, did you sleep with Luke?"

"Do you think I did?"

"Please, answer me -"

"No," she turned in her seat to stare at the side of my face. "Do you think I went back to Luke after finding out about Charlie?"

My head moved back and forth as a lump grew in my throat. "No."

"I went to my office," a heavy breath fell from her lips. "I couldn't go back to Trevor's apartment without thinking about Charlie, and I couldn't go back to my apartment because I didn't want to relive everything that Luke did to me."

"Chrissy said you talked about kids and marriage with him -"

"With who? Luke?" She choked out as if she was trying to figure out if I had been telling the truth or not. "God no, Kinnick. We slept together, and then I would kick him out of my bedroom. I was a different person after everything happened. I started drinking, and I felt angry all of the time. Luke knew he only lived in my apartment to give me what I wanted before anything happened. Nothing more. Nothing less."

"What made it stop?" I asked, afraid I wouldn't want to know the answer. "Why did nothing else happen between you two?"

"I don't want to talk about it," a stutter broke up her sentence.

"Bo -"

Her face fell into the palm of her hands. "I can't talk about that with you."

"Bo, you can talk to me about anything," my fingers rubbed over her knee. "And you don't have to be embarrassed."

I watched as she slowly shifted her legs away from me before her head rolled to look out the window. "He got too rough sometimes."

"Physically?"

"He used to leave marks on my wrists," her voice sounded defeated. "I found bruises on my hips where he would pin me down."

"During sex?"

"It made my nightmares worst." I watched her hands start to shake before words fell from her lips again. "When I closed my eyes, all I could feel was Warren again. When I opened them, I saw Luke holding me down to get what he wanted, and I couldn't separate the two. So, I stopped inviting him to my room. When it got to the point where he wouldn't stop asking, I would wait at my office until he went to bed."

"How did you know he was asleep?"

"Miles."

"He didn't question what was happening between you two?"

"Miles and I barely talked after everything happened," she stared down at her lap. "I felt more betrayed by him when I found out he knew what happened to my mom. He was the first person I told about Warren. I thought I had found a genuine friend. I trusted him."

"I am sorry for being the reason you had nobody left."

"I am not," her head moved back and forth. "It made me realize that the people closest to me are the most capable of breaking me. I hadn't felt pain like that since my mom died because I hadn't loved anyone as much as I did her. It made me realize I was capable of loving someone again, and if they could hurt me as badly, perhaps they would love me too."

"You are the person I love most in this world, Bo."

"It is scary because I could say the same thing."

"Why are you afraid of that?"

I listened to her voice crack in the still of the night as she spoke out. "Because you could shatter me, and every piece would still be for you."