You All Along - ShigaDabi

Eighth

5am.

Most people are still asleep at that time, or just getting up for work. It's a time of students groaning for not wanting to go to school, birds singing for the new day, and the sounds of the drunkards from the past night yelling at each other for no reason at all.

But not Dabi.

Sure, he was drunk, but stumbling rather quietly down the road.

He thought that getting fucked would help clear up the whole love problem, but that only made it worse. His insides were even more jumbled up than usual, making him feel more sick than ever. Or maybe it was just the fact that he desperately had to throw up.

After waking up alone, he finally decided that he should head back to base, clear up his thoughts, and possibly confess his stupid feelings, accepting whatever punishment there would be for it. Giving in to weakness always came with a punishment, had he learned all those years ago.

Now, he just needed a light in his life. Someone or something that would shine over him and remove all dark doubts and worries, like the sun. Yes, the sun seemed like a good option, and damn was it looking beautiful this early morning. It was just coming up now, blinding him temporarily in the process as he watched it rise. For the moment it really did take away his pain, and he just stared at it for a few minutes, basking in its light that would soon spread out over the horizon.

But there was still something bugging him even now. It was like a little voice at the back of his head. A voice that was gradually getting louder every second, until it was right beside his ear.

"-talking to you. Why the fuck are you staring at the sun at 5 o'clock in the morning?"

Dabi had no time to answer before his arm was roughly yanked inside a building, and he heard a door shut somewhere. The action of being moved so suddenly made his vision blurry, and he couldn't focus.

"Dabi." Shigaraki's voice was stern. "What on earth happened to you?"

-

From the main bar, the two men were now in the bathroom.

"That idiot Twice doesn't know how to do shit when it comes to this, and Toga wouldn't be any help at all," Shigaraki was saying.

Dabi stayed silent as the former looped the brand new surgical staples on his cheek, but he couldn't help going a little pink at how close his boss was to his lips, and fought the urge to kiss the man.

Wait- did I really just think that?

Shigaraki glanced up at Dabi. "You're quiet today."

"I've got a lot on my mind."

"Pah, like what?"

Fuck. What do I say?

Maybe, maybe if he told the truth this time, his feelings would be returned? Maybe Shigaraki did feel the same way about him, since he was being so considerate in helping him with his scars. And here they were, together. Alone. Surely Shigaraki couldn't just leave him.

"...You," Dabi said, looking directly into his eyes.

Shigaraki stared at him, his crimson eyes darting to different parts of his face before resting on a turquoise blue.

"What do you mean, I've been on your mind? What did you drink this time?"

"I- I don't know," the other villan stammered, unable to think.

A few more seconds went by of Shigaraki not saying anything, but studying the scarred villan silently. Dabi felt like throwing up again. That was almost a confession in itself, saying Shigaraki had been on his mind lately - he was constantly thinking about the handyman, wondering if he actually did like him or it was just his mind making him believe he did.

Were his feelings genuine or not? Was it just his body's way of coping knowing he would never get with Hawks? If it was, then why did his heart flutter whenever he was with Shigaraki? Whether it simply be playing a video game together, or sitting next to each other in silence on the barstools. Was Shigaraki capable of relating to an emotion such as love? Was he even gay?

Instead of saying 'Oh yes Dabi, I've been thinking a lot about you too, you know. We should get together,' which Dabi knew would never happen in a million years, the crusty man furrowed his eyebrows, scratched his neck, and handed him the alcohol cloth.

"Here, you can finish up yourself," he said, placing it in the other villan's hands.

The scarred man stared down at it, blinking slowly. He then looked up as Shigaraki started to leave.

"Wait-"

"What?"

The villan couldn't find the words. He simply sat there, staring at that pale face.
A face the nation would find haunting, but he had grown quite used to, and even conjured fantasies of himself in his head with the man.

Shigaraki, not wanting to stand around any longer waiting for an answer that would never come, exited the bathroom and shut the door softly behind him.

So Dabi was left alone, confused with Shigaraki's subtle reaction, and cursing himself for being drunk. If he hadn't been, maybe he would have been able to explain himself a little better, instead of looking like a bewildered idiot.

His fingers clenched and the alcohol from the rag seeped out, stinging when it trickled into the scars on his wrist.

I hate this.