the disastrous life of tommyinit - ftm au

14.

tw suicide. [no one dying dw yet.]

Tommy - pov

I threw my phone across the room. 'no, no, no!' I said, I felt my heart beat faster than it ever has before, tears formed in my eyes. I heard a knock at the door. "Taylor? you okay in there?" It was Phil. My breathing sped up even more. The doorknob shifted opening. I looked at Phil he looked confused. "hey, you okay?" He asked me. "i-i" All that came out of my mouth was small cries and whines. Phil sat on my bed next to me.

I threw myself into him. "It's alright I promise," He said running his hand down my back. I sat up wiping my face. I noticed he had some bloodstains on his shirt but ignored it. "better?" "mhm." "do you wanna tell me what happened?" Phil asked me. "t-tubbo said he loved me, I panicked." "oh, like platonic or love-love?" "love-love."

Phil got up. "well, do you like him back?" "no-no I only like him as a friend not sexually," I said. "so, tell him that, ask him if he wants to have a platonic relationship not sexually," Phil said. "o-okay, thank you Phil" "you can call me dad you know that right?" "i-i can?" I asked.

"yeah?" "o-oh I just thought only techno and will could s-since they're your real sons." I mumbled. "what? They're not my bio kids," "they aren't?" "no, I adopted them at the same place I did with you, I did when they were only 6," Phil said chuckling "o-oh," "Did you know Wilbur and techno aren't blood-related?" "what? I thought they were twins tho?" "they are just not from the same family," Phil said. "wow" "

but, I have to get back to some stuff if you feel like your gonna panic again come get me okay?" Phil said. "alright, love you, dad." Phil smiled. "Love you to kiddo"

I went back to my phone.

Tubbo: Tommy? -10 mins ago-

Tubbo: Tommy are you okay? - 8 mins ago-

Tubbo: Tommy? did I upset you? -5 mins ago-

Tubbo: please respond. -3 mins ago-

Tommy >:3: yeah, yeah I'm, okay, Listen, I don't like you like that, I like you platonically. I get if you don't wanna be friends but, I just don't like you like that."

Tubbo: oh. okay, sorry.

Tommy >:3: Are we still friends?

Tubbo: Of course man,

I turned off my phone sighing, I laid down on my bed going to sleep,

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*BEEP BEEP* My alarm beeped loudly.

'geez, did I sleep that long?' I sighed getting up.

I went over to my closet grabbing Wilbur's oversized hoodie I stole and some jeans. I took a little bag I had on my door off, putting my phone in it, and left my room. "ah I was just about to come to wake you up!" Phil said as I passed him in the hall. "How'd it go with tubbo?" He asked me. "oh, he said it was okay he sounds kinda mad tho," I said. "I'm sure he'll lose up," Phil said.

I checked the time. '7:05' "DAD IS IT OKAY IF I LEAVE?" I asked. "YEAH!" "OKAY BYE, I LOVE YOU!" "I love you too," He said I got my shoes on grabbed my backpack leaving. I saw ranboo walking to the bus stop.

"BOO!" I said. "oh hey toms!" they said. "Where is Tubbs?" I asked. "dunno he wasn't responding to my messages," Ranboo said showing me his discord.

Ranboo: tubbo? -5 mins ago-

Ranboo: Tubbs? Hello? - 3 mins ago-

"Huh weird," I said, "yeah maybe he's sick?" "Maybe" We walked to the bus stop sitting on a bench that was there. I got out my phone scrolling through me and tubbos messages.

Tommy >:3: Tubbo?

Tubbo: what.

Tommy >:3: Where are you?

Tubbo: why does it matter

Tommy >:3: dude are you mad that I don't like you?

I waited and waited for a response but no one answered. "Tommy the bus" Ranboo said grabbing my hand.

"Oh!" I said walking with him. I sat down next to him laying my head on his shoulder. "I hope everything goes okay with your name thing," He said. "Thanks," I said smiling.

Everything went pretty okay, it was lunch and I had no idea who anyone was but ranboo.

I looked around for him before just walking to the roof. I saw him. "Boo?" I said. They turned around. "Hey toms," He said. I sat next to him on the ledge. I looked down. "Pretty far down there huh?" I said. Ranboo frowned. "Yeah, I guess." He said. "Huh, what if I jumped?" "do you wanna talk about anything? I'll listen." They said. "Nah come on let's go get some food," I said getting up.

Just like that school was over, I have orchestra last period while ranboo had a band so I got to see him. I saw him and ran to him. "Hey boo!" I said. "Oh hey, toms! How'd your name thing go?" "good! Everyone but 1 teacher calls me Tommy!" I said happily.

"That's good!" Ranboo said. "Yeah! I can't wait to tell Wilbur!" I said walking into the gym for the bus. "Where is Wilbur?" "he got suspended for a week" "oh" "yeah"

I got home and went into my room setting my bags down. There was a box on my bed with a sticky note on it. 'I forgot to give you these! They should fit you! - wilbur' I opened the box to see a couple of chest binders. I jumped up happily. I grabbed one, putting it on rushing to the bathroom.

I looked in the mirror. I was flat. I jumped up happily. I put Wilbur's hoodie back on and went into Wilbur's bedroom.

I'll never forget what I saw.

Wilbur hanging from his ceiling.

"W-will..?" 

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im focusing on wilbur angst more now lol, i know how i said i wasn't gonna write a lot but i kinda just need to vent out some stuff so why not just put tommy and wilbur in it huh?