Falling for Xavier (ON GOING) -Unedited-

chapter thirty

Zayn POV

The amount of emotions running through me were beyond my control. I felt like screaming but I couldn't, my vision was becoming blurring from my own tears. But the tears wouldn't stop coming.

I barely could see anything anymore.

A part of me was telling me to stop the car, but I didn't want to I don't know for how long have been driving but it was dark already.

I felt like the dark was suffocating the hell out of me, I was always hated driving at night, I despised it.

But lately I have been doing alot of things I despise.

Xavier

I fucking saw xavier today, after three years.

I saw a fucking ghost.
How I'm I suppose to believe that

"Fuck fuck fuck" I shouted at the top of my lungs while increasing my speed.

I was moving faster than ever now.

No matter how I try to block my mind from thinking anything, the thoughts still kept coming.

How could I be so oblivious

Limah's house looked so familiar
How could I have not seen that.

That house belonged to Xavier's mom

I can recall being there once, the day my dad forced me to reconcile with xavier, Either I return home with him or never step Foot into his house again.

I wasn't surprised by my dad words, even with Xavier being his illegitimate son he will Always remain his favorite.

Why would limah be living in xavier mom's house

I remembered the first time I came to limah's house, her dad's voice sounded so familiar but I can't still recall where I have heard it from.

I never saw his face because he answered me from behind the door.

My head was pounding from all the thinking, the look on xavier face when he saw me keeps replaying in my head.

The look he gave me made me feel ten times worst than I have ever felt

The hurt, betrayal, anger, sadness could all be seen in his eyes.

I wish I could go back in time and changed that day.

I wish I could take back all the bad and awful things I have ever done to him.

I was ready to be a good brother now.

But it's already late to do that, he hates me now more than ever.

He didn't even let me touch his hands for more than a second before removing his hands.

I felt his touch though.
Is that even possible.

I felt more confuse now than ever, I saw xavier disappear in front of me.

The same xavier who always forcefully tries to hug me just to annoy me.

Knowing now he wouldn't even let me touch his hands anymore Hurt more than I ever could imagine.

The guilt inside of me was ripping me into pieces.

The thought of limah with Xavier spark something inside of me that I recognized so well

Jealousy

The same feeling I have felt towards Xavier as long as I could remember.

The same feeling which lead to the biggest mistake that I can't undo.

Why am I always the second choice

Why can't I be first for just once

I hated this other part of me, the part that always makes me feel

Weak

Unwanted

Not good enough

Everything was perfect until xavier came along

My mom and dad started arguing alot

My dad stopped caring about me.

I started feeling good again about myself when limah came along.

And xavier again gets to have her.

The looked she had on her face when xavier disappeared could easily be recognized by anyone.

She loved him

And she pitied me

I was surrounded by trees now I don't know where I was but I kept driving.

I wasn't concentrating anymore, i didn't even see the upcoming truck until it was right in front of me. The lights emitting from it blinding my eyes completely.

And I knew this was the end

The impact of the truck colliding with my car was so Intense I came flying out right through the passenger door, hitting my head on the concrete ground leaving a thud sound

Everything around me was spinning I was loosing consciousness.

The last thing I heard was a banging noise

And everything went blank.

Hey guys

Here is another chapter I'm sorry for the late update
Would be updating soon again

So what do you think of this chapter.

My poor zayn

I feel so sorry for him😭

Don't forget to vote and comment on each chapter
Would really appreciate that.

Xoxo mus.

Stay safe ❤️