Fire On Fire

Chapter 60 - Set Fire To The Rain

I close the door, and rub my face, my fingers lingering on the handle for a second, as i stand there, on the other side.

Then I start to leave, taking the few steps it requires to reach the living room, as the image of Ella's distraught face clouds my vision.

I stop dead in my tracks, and snap out of my thoughts, when i feel water hit my face, then it drips down to my shirt and abit of it down to my pants.

I look up to see Carmen standing in front of me, one hand on her hip, the other one raised up, the fingers curled around an empty glass.

Her eyes are glazed over, as if she is about to cry, but the menacing expression on her face tells otherwise, she is angry.

Damn! I have no doubt that if she could beat me up right now, she would.

"How. Fucking. Dare You?" she utters vivaciously.

"I never thought you would turn out to be such an entitled, self-serving asshole." she says, her nose flaring, as my jaw tightens.

"Nobody asked you to come here, you came at your own free will...Ella is not feeling well, You don't know what she is dealing with right now, and she just woke up from the first normal sleep she has had in over a week, and one she only got with the help of some sleeping pills. and yet you choose now to have that discussion that her?" She asks, and the feeling of regret completely settles in my belly

"Do you even know why she was so tired that she passed out today? she was up past 1am last night, getting your stupid Christmas present ready.......And yet you choose now, NOW, when she is at her lowest point to even the scores, and kick her when she is down." she mutters angrily, and i shift on my feet....

"If you don't want to forgive her, that's fine, and i hope you never get back together anyway, but you could have just left any time in the past three hours you have been here, hell you could have even left immediately after she woke up, that's fine, but you don't get to come here, in my house, where i welcomed you like a friend, offering you refreshments, just to wait for her to wake up, so you can shout at her in her current state." She says, her face morphing into an angrier grimace.

"You want to act like a saint, and reduce your whole relationship to the one mistake she made and forget about everything else she has ever done for you?" she asks, and i look behind me briefly, as if i will see Ella there.

"Wow, thank you very much for coming....i bet you have been dying to get that off your chest, so i hope you are satisfied.....i think you are even now..i'm glad that i could afford you that opportunity." she say's, as she walks towards the door and opens it.

"I can assure you that once you get down from your ivory tower on that high horse of yours, you will realise just how much you fucked up tonight......you can show yourself out." she utters, and walks away from the open door to another room.

I look back towards Ella's room, before finally walkong out and closing the door.

"Fuck" I mutter.

I walk to the car and get inside, placing my hands on the steering wheel.

I curled my fingers around it until my knuckles turn white. It is the only way to keep them from shaking.

I feel sick in my stomach, and disgusted with myself.

Carmen is right, that was not the right time to engage in that conversation.

How could i be so careless, unthoughtful?

I should have just left, instead of engaging with her, in an argument when she had just woken up.