Raising Sailor

Father's day

Father's Day.
The day all of my brother's dreaded.
I did too.
My brothers were always gloomy on this day, they tried to hide it but I always seen right through.

You see they never told me anything about our dad.
I don't even know if I was born when he was here.
I don't know if he died like my mother.
I don't know if he is still alive.
Nothing.
It frustrated me so much!
He's my dad too, I deserve to know at least if he is alive.

But they wouldn't let me even mention him.

So when I woke up this morning and remembered it was Father's Day I knew today would be a long day.
I could hear chatting from downstairs.
They were never up this early.

I was usually up first.

I walked downstairs too see Levi sitting at the table stirring his uneaten cereal around in the bowl with his head down while Austin was angrily talking to Hayden about something I couldn't make out, while Cameron was making cereal.

"How come you are all up so early?" I asked while rubbing my eyes.
They all turned their heads to me.
They all immediately stop talking.

"Oh, em Sailor you are up!" Said a panicked Cameron. "Let me make you some cereal! Coco pops or Frosted Flakes?" He asked.
Something was up with them.
What were they talking about and why were they trying to hide it.
"Em, Coco pops please" I say still half asleep.

I sit down at the top of the table.
We sit there in awkward silence for awhile until Hayden finally spoke up.
"How'd you sleep?"
"Fine!" I mumble.

Cameron walks over and hands me my cereal and sits himself down with his own.
I take a few bites until saying,
"You know it's Father's Day today..."
Maybe this year will be different maybe I will get answers.
All heads turn to me.
"We know.." replied Austin.
"I figured.." I mumbled.

We all finish our cereal in silence.
Cameron starts to clean up, along with everyone helping.

"Cameron?" I mumbled
"Yeah?"
"Why don't we have a dad?" I asked .
"No silly question, he is not here right now, that's all you need to know!"

Same answer as last year.

"Why does everyone else know but me!" I ask angrily.
"Shut it Sailor, stop being a brat!" Hissed Levi .
"I wasn't even talking to you!" I shout.
I could feel a lump in my throat.
"They are older that's why!" Said Cameron while cleaning the dishes.
"He's my dad too, I deserve to know!" I shouted. Now on the verge of tears.
I didn't like shouting at him, but if that's what I need to do to get answers, so be it.

"SHUT UP SAILOR, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HIM AND YOU DON'T NEED TO!" Yelled Levi.
Now I was sobbing.
"I want too! It's not fair! What are you hiding from me!"
"Just go to your room Sailor!" Shouted Cameron angrily.

I stormed away back up the stairs making sure I stomped louder on every step.
And slammed the door of my room as hard as I could.
I jumped onto my bed and sobbed into my pillows.
He was my dad too.
I want answers!

After things had calmed down I heard a knock on my door.
"Who is it?" I ask still crying.
"Hayden, can I come in?"
"Fine!"

He sat in my bed beside me.
"It's just a hard day for all of us, I am sure Levi and Cameron are just tired and angry that's why they lashed out on you!"
"I want answers!"
He sighed.
"I'll answer them all soon, okay?"
"When!"
"Very soon!"
He rubs my arm as I cried.
Very soon wasn't good enough.
"Did he not like me? Was it my fault he is now gone ..?" I cried.
"No, no not at all! None of this is your fault okay? None of it!" He said wiping my tears.
"Then why won't you tell me!"
"I'll talk to the rest of them, try convince them to let you know why! You know how good I am at convincing people!" He said nudging me.
I smile.
"Now stop crying, your little face is making me sad!"
I wiped my tears and smiled.
"That's more like it!"
"Now stay here I'll talk to them!" He added
"I will!"

Hayden's POV:
When I got downstairs I knew I had to say something, I couldn't let Sailor down.
"Guys"
"What?" Asked Austin harshly .
"We need to tell Sailor, some details about her dad, I know it's hard but you should have seen her face, she is in a state up there and she is now thinking it's her fault her dad is not here! I know you want to act like he was never alive and move on and protect Sailor from ever going through what we did but we can't keep something like this hidden from her for much longer!" I explain.
It takes them awhile to reply but Cameron soon breaks the silence.
"I still think she is too young, even if we do tell her she probably won't understand!"
"She needs to know something, just to have an idea! We will sugar coat it!"
"Come on Hayden, let's at least wait till next year, until she is six! Besides we don't want her to worry about us or be scared something might happen to her!" Said Austin.
"I think we should tell her. Not the full story, just to give her an idea, I can't take it anymore. She is acting like she has it hard not knowing what he is like, she is lucky!" Levi agreed in an angry tone.
"Can we at least give her an idea of who he was, not a lot and we will try not to scare her!" I added desperate to win them over.
"Fine!" Said Austin.
"But I don't want her to worry or be scared, just give her a small idea of who he was!" Soon agreed Cameron.
"I'll go get her, try plan out how you are going to tell her!" Said Cameron.

Cameron's POV:
I still didn't really want to tell Sailor. But after hearing about the state she was in, I knew we had to give her some idea.
Besides Hayden was the one who wanted to tell her which I would have thought would be the last one to want Sailor to find out after all he was extremely protective over Sailor. If he could wrap her in bubble wrap to make sure she would never get hurt, he would.
But Hayden always gives into her when she is crying. He is always the first to comfort her.

I walk into Sailors room and she is sitting on her bed waiting patiently for us .
"Sailor we want to talk to you about your dad, okay, but after all this is said I don't want you to ask anymore questions, or be worried or scared because this was all in the past ok?" I explain.
It was clear she had been crying, her eyes were glowing blue and puffy and her cheeks and nose were still red.
"Okay, and I won't I promise!" She says.
I take her hand and walk her down stair and sit her down at the top of the table.
Everyone was now sitting down.
We all glance back and fort at each other seeing who was going to speak first.
Finally, Hayden takes a deep breath.
"Sailor, about your dad welll...."

To be continued.....