wed.

A wedding, a make shift honeymoon, and glow-in-the-dark stars

...

John paced back and forth. He mumbled to himself. His head was spinning and, even though he ignored it, there was a feeling of nausea in his stomach.

"Hun, sweetie, you have to stop moving." Laf fluffed John's dress. He brushed back John's bangs. "You're walking down the aisle in twenty minutes, and you're a mess, babe."

"What if I don't do good. I'm not...I can't go out there." John paced back and forth. "What if Alexander decides he doesn't wanna marry now? Or what if I forget what to say?" He tugged at his hair, scratching down his face. "What if I mess up?"

"Do you have any friends or someone who can come back here with you?" Laf asked.

"I don't have any friends!" John snapped. "Let's just get that out there that John Laurens doesn't have any friends!" He swallowed hard, planting his feet and almost hyperventilating.

"You need to calm down," Peggy said. She leaned in the entrance way, arms crossed. She pushed off the wall and walked over. "Listen, I'm your friend. And Laf's your friend." She fixed John's hair and smiled. "Right? Feel better now?"

"I mean, I guess." John looked terrified and nervous. His head was pounding now and the voices were getting louder, telling him that Peggy and Lafayette were absolutely not his friends.

"So, are you ready to get out there? And marry Alex?" Peggy asked cheerfully.

"Yeah," John decided, trying to ignore the voices. He clutched his stomach, turning green, and feeling nauseous. "Maybe not." He turned and hurried out of the room. Peggy ran a hand through her hair and shot Lafayette a nervous look.

"I'll go talk to Alex," Laf said.

After dragging John from the bathroom, cleaning him up, and calming him down, John finally walked down the aisle. They were married and John found his head fuzzy and most of it happened in a blur. He didn't really process anything of what anyone said. All he really could process was Alex's arm around his waist. It made him feel safe and tingly inside.

John wasn't a fan of the dancing. And Alex didn't seem too into it either. They mostly just chatted with people and drank a lot of wine to the point where John's cheeks were heated and flushed.

Eventually, John was getting sleepy and was staring into space and was practically giggling over anything Alex said. The wine numbed his feeling of being overwhelmed and Alex might've noticed that which is why he probably let John drink so much.

"Okay," Alex said, taking the wine glass from John. "I think it's time to start settling down."

John giggled and leaned into Alex. Peggy snorted and sipped her glass. "I'm thinking it's time to get him to bed."

"Where you two off to? France? Italy? Puerto Rico?" Lafayette shimmied.

"Try my house," Alex said and rolled his eyes. "And then I'm gonna pour myself a cup of coffee and then close myself into my bedroom while Laurens goes to his room and passes out from all the cheap wine he drank."

"Excuse you, bitch," Thomas snapped. "This is the expensive shit."

"Wait." John snaked his arms around Alex. "I get to sleep with you, right? Like... that's... I get to sleep with you in your bed and..." He trailed off and looked up at Alex.

"Absolutely not," said Alex. "Alright, let's go."

The ride home was longer than it should've been. John was quiet and stared out the window, letting the warm feeling of the alcohol numb him, just like he did in the evenings at home. He thought about his cat and made a mental note to go home tomorrow. All his tapes were at home and there was one he was thinking about that he wanted to hear.

"You said I'd get a honeymoon," John pointed out, turning to Alex.

Alex glanced over, having been pulled out of his thoughts. He blinked a few times, trying to process what John had said. "Uh, yeah. You're practically living in my house. That's your honeymoon."

"But, no, you said...that's not a honeymoon."

Alex sighed exasperated. "Can you not push this? You know, you push yourself into my life--that was perfect by the way--and demand I marry you. And then when I try and refuse, you threaten a court case. You practically stalk me, waiting outside my house. And you might as well live here. And then you pout when I say no to a damn honeymoon after I do marry you! Who the fuck do you think you are!?" 

John was quiet till they pulled into Alex's driveway. He was absolutely embarrassed with his behaviour. But he still wanted more and still needed Alex to notice and like him. They both walked inside the house. He watched as Alex made himself some coffee. And maybe it was the wine, but John spoke again.His words were nervous and he still didn't make eye contact. "I can sleep with you, though, right? So I don't have to sleep alone?"

Alex was too exhausted to argue. "One night. Yes, fine."

John squealed a bit and followed Alex up the stairs and into Alex's bedroom. He looked around for a moment and ran his fingertips over the bed. Alex disappeared into the adjacent bathroom and John heard the sound of the shower turn on. He sat down on the bed, staring off into space. Unlike the rest of the house, the walls in Alex's bedroom were a darker cream colour and there was no art lining them. But John seemed to find something about them interesting because he stared a hole into the wall until Alex walked out of the bathroom.

"You good there, bud?" Alex asked.

John snapped out of his blank thoughts and pulled his gaze from the wall. He blinked tiredly. "I'm okay. Did you know in France you can marry a dead person? Would you marry me if I was dead?"

"You'd be less annoying to deal with," Alex muttered under his breath. He pushed John's chest. "Time for bed. I have a headache."

"But would you?" John asked. He pulled his bag off and dug through it. He pulled out two pill bottles. He shook two pills from each in his hand and dry swallowed them.

"What are those for?" Alex asked.

"Me," John answered, putting them back in his bag. "Can I wear one of your shirts?"

Alex rolled his eyes and tossed John a tee shirt. And then, upon John's request, unzipped John's dress. John quickly pulled the shirt on and then tossed his bag on the dresser. "Done? You good? Can we go to bed now?" Alex asked, slightly irritated.

Once they laid down, Alex pulled the blanket up. "Listen to me, you stay on your side of the bed, got it? Do not touch me in any way, yeah?"

"Mhm," John hummed. He laid his head back on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. When the light went out, he noticed the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. He softened and was mesmerised. "Do you like snow?"

"What?"

"Do you like snow?" John repeated.

Alex sat up a bit. "Are you serious right now? It's what? Almost two thirty am? I'm exhausted and you're asking me about snow." John didn't answer. "Snow is okay. It's cold and wet, but I guess there are worse things. Why?"

"Did you know Scotland has four hundred and twenty one words for snow?" John hummed.

Alex fell back into the bed and resisted the urge to groan. He took a breath. "That's a lot of words," he said.

"Mhm. The stars are really pretty. I like that one." John pointed up. "That one right there is my favourite."

"They're plastic," Alex deadpanned. "How...how the fuck do you have a favourite?"

"He's nice. He's thinking. He glows a bit dimmer than the rest. He's a loner. But he has a lot of potential, though. You can tell." John babbled on. 

"Mhm. Goodnight, Laurens."

"Today was a good day," John decided.