I'M OKAY

2

Taylor picked the kids from school, took them home after Cory's football practise and prepare their dinner thereafter sending them to bed. That is when her peace would start.

Just like every other day, she changed from her regular clothing to the skimpy kind and left after locking the house behind her at eight in the night. She made sure the kids were fast asleep by seven thirty o'clock then go to the bar just down the street. There she would order three bottles of liquor and the bartender would give them to her without complaint as he was her....accomplice from school, Jerome working at his father's bar.

She would drink and drink...and drink some more just to drown away her bitter sorrow with tears rolling down her cheeks. She would scream at some point and bang her chest wondering why her parents just had to drive late in the night that day. They could have just left her at school. She could have slept at a friend's place but no, they just had to drive through that windy night only to end up losing control of the car and spiralling off the road. She caused her parents' death. At least that is what she believed. That is what haunted her at her parents' burial. That is what deepened the bottomless hole of pain and emptiness she felt in her heart. She made her younger siblings become orphans at such tender ages. She literally robbed them of parental love. These were the thoughts that spun in her mind every night and every day.

During the day, she got anxiety attacks and would count from thirty backwards to calm down which would work at times. During the night, alcohol was her escape. She slept off at the end of the barcounter after the sixth bottle and second shot of vodka just like every other. She would then become numb to her pain just as she wanted. Jerome, the bartender was used to all of this so after cleaning up after midnight when customers were gone, he woke her up when she was very tipsy and drove her home. It was a routine. How longer could this go on? As long as she lived daa! That is what she always told herself when she woke up in the morning with a terrible headache. That was her life now.