Love Me Always (Book 2)

chapter 17. Ryder

I watched as Bee, moved David to the side of her, his tiny frame holding tight to her leg. He was mesmerized starring back at me, his little chubby cheeks, and the dimple under his chin. His big brown eyes widen as he starred.

My knees started to shake, with full force I felt them buckling from under me, I couldn't stop them, I collapsed to the floor.
Lifting my head to look at Bianca, a tear escaped her eyes trickling down her face,I didnt need her to tell me from that minute, her face, her emotions, her eyes told me everything I needed to know.

David was mine, he was my son, I could feel it in my bones, he just looked like me as a child a spitting image some would say.

I felt sick, I needed answers, i needed to know for sure,but she just turned around taking his hand and running away like she always does when things get tough, the girl I grew up loving, the woman I'm truly madly deeply in love with, just brought me to my fucking knees.

I was beyond fucking furious, if he is mine, she kept this for me for three years and today it was going to change, she couldn't run no more.

Standing back up, trying to compose my self, I headed straight to her flat, we would have this conversation today whether she liked it or not.
It was happening.

Taking her steps two at a time, the elevator pinged as I turned the corner, I saw her scoop David up and headed towards her flat.

"Bianca, stop, we need to discuss this." I yelled out.

Ignoring my calls she continued to pace to her door, faster and faster.

"Bianca please." I begged as she unlocked her door, closing the door behind her.

I managed to stop the door from shutting, sticking my foot in the way. I could tell she was putting more pressure on the door, using all her force to close it shut, but I wasnt prepared to back down on this. Not Now!

"Bianca, open this dam door now, before I force it open." I shout.

"Please Ryder, don't your scaring David. " Bianca weeps.

"Ok, I'm sorry, please I'm begging you, just let me in, if you at all cared for me or loved me you'll let me in, you cant hide from this. Please I'm begging you." I plead.

The door opens wide, Bianca stands behind the door frame, eyes red raw almost swallon from the tears.

"David could you go and play in your room, go and build that big house out of bricks for me." Bee asked David as he walks into the corridor to his room.

I couldn't help but take once long glance at him when he walked away.

Fuck I didnt think my heart could sink any more.

"Can I get you a drink?" Bee asked turning to the fridge pulling out a bottle of water.

"No." I said abruptly. "I want to know what the fuck is going on? " I whisper shout.

I watch as Bee stands leaning again the kitchen top, her body slumped full of regret, the bottle of water shaking  in her hands as she tries to compose herself in front of me.

"Do you want to take a seat." Bee now points to the chairs.

"Tell me here and tell me now, dont hold out on me I think I've waited 3 fucking years for the truth." My tone enraged.

"I dont know where to start." Bee uses her sleeve to wipe her eyes.

"I have no time for your tears, not today, now start from the beginning. " the bitterness is my voice spitting out.

"Ok." She whispers.

"When I left you, I went back home to my dad's, its took me ages to even do anything, I couldn't even be bothered to go outside for fresh air. " Bee sighs.

I allow her time to continue.

"My dad was so worried about me, falling apart again that he wanted me to have counselling. I told him I'd change and was strong enough to do it by myself, so day by day I got my confidence back. One day about two months later I started thinking about you and Sophie, your unborn baby, i had so many thoughts going through my head that I ended up throwing up constantly, that's when I realised that I possibly could be pregnant. I took a test and it was positive."

"And, what you didnt want to pick up the phone and tell me? " I lift her chin to face me.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't, I thought you were having a baby and didnt want to burden you with another child. " Bee sobs louder.

Burden? You didnt want to burden me? Are you seriously shitting me right now? You were pregnant and kept it a fucking secret and continued for nearly three fucking years Bianca. I've missed out on so much of my sons life, and you say its cause you didnt want to BURDEN ME! " The vemon slipping of my tongue.

"It wasn't like that Ryder, please try to understand. I thought It was the best decision at the time."

"No. Stop. You dont get to say it's the best decision when you didnt fucking involve me in it, you never gave me a fucking chance to be a father to my son.
For fuck sake Bianca I have a son and I know nothing about him, you took that chance away from me. Do you have any idea what your done, not just to me but to David?" I huff.

"I'm sorry, I never meant for you to find out like this." More tears are shed.

"My point excatly, you were never going to tell me where you? What was your plan, wait until his 18 then tell him the truth so he comes and finds me, is that it? Fuck you even called him David after my dad, everything makes sense now. You didnt even give me a chance. I would have thought for you every day for the rest of my life, but the truth is you never bothered to fight for me. You gave birth to our son and you just ran not even letting me know, that fucking hurts Bee. " the tears pricking my eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I love you so much, I didnt know how to tell you, I never meant to hurt you Ryder. " Bee's now uncontrollably crying.

"Well guess what, you did, you stuck that knife right into my heart and ripped it into two. You destroyed us three years ago with your lies and deceit. " I spit out.

"Ryder, please I'm sorry, I'll do anything to make this right, I still love you." She pleads.

"Your right, you will make this right by letting me see my son and not waste another god for saken minute of his life." I stand firm.

"Ok, but not now after all off this. We can arrange something. I promise. "

The door pushes open and to both of our surprise Paul stands there, looking between the two of us.

"Hey baby, I'm back earlier, I thought we could......" Paul walks through the door at the wrong time as per usual. what is with this douche!

"What the hell is going on here? Have you made Bianca cry? "Paul strides over to me.

"I'm asking you a fucking question, what have you done to her? She's in a right state. " Paul came inches from me, pulling at my tee with his fist.

"Your brilliant at your job Paul, I give you that, but my god you really are stupid?" I laugh looking between them both.

"Do you want to say that again? " His hand pulling tighter.

"She never told you, did she? She played you like she played me." I grin.

"What the fuck are you on about? " he said starring at Bee who just stands in silence.

"Your precious little man, well guess what,his my son." I smirk.

Paul releases his hold on my tee shirt. I straighten up readjusting myself.

From his body language like me, he hadn't had a clue either, that's why she lied to him on our first reoccurances.

"I'll leave you to take all that information in." I look to Paul who looks furious.

"Oh and Bianca by the way, I'm not going anywhere so make sure you keep in touch. " with that I slam her front door shut.

I will do everything I can to see my little boy and no one will stop me, not even Bee.