Alive Again (English Version)

6.Torn Apart

6.

I been bleeding on the inside, I'm torn apart
Can I get a chance to go back to the start?
(Eredaze-Torn Apart)

Lexa had no desire to film that day. Her head was completely elsewhere. Costia's betrayal still hurt too much. She sighed, as she struggled to eat her breakfast, burnt pancakes and orange juice. She envied Clarke and her cooking skills a lot in that moment. Clarke, yes. It had been five days since the blonde found her on the floor of the trailer and since then their only interactions had taken place during filming. She knew Clarke was suffering from it and certainly couldn't blame her. She was behaving really badly, but the truth was that showing herself so weak and fragile had scared her so much. There was something special about Clarke, something that pushed her towards her and, at the same time, invited her to be cautious. It was as if she could read her inside, as if she couldn't hide in front of her and it terrified her. Someone knocked on the door, awakening her from her thoughts. She went to open, snorting when she found Titus in front of her.

"Ah, it's you." she stated, abruptly.

"It's a pleasure for me to see you, too." the man replied.

"Sorry, I... I slept badly." the actress apologized. "To what do I owe this visit?" Titus crossed the threshold unceremoniously and waved some sheets in front of her nose. Lexa took them and read them, confused.

"I don't understand." she murmured.

"Becca Franko, the producer, called me. They'd love having you for a new show. You may finally have a starring role." the man explained.

"Mr. Wallace told me he would like to give more importance to my character next season, I don't see why I should quit this show."

"Wallace is evaluating the fate of your character. Apparently, several fans would like yours and Clarke Griffin's to fall in love."

"That would be great!" the actress exclaimed. "It would be an honor for me to represent the com-..."

"Don't even say it as a joke." Titus shushed her. "Such a role would kill your career. Moreover, the only one who is pushing in this direction is Griffin.". Lexa gasped. Did Clarke really want their respective characters to end up together? Why had she never told her about it?

"Lexa, your sexuality isn't a problem, but Wallace isn't going to make the show divisive."

"Divisive? And since when would two people who love each other create division?" Lexa replied, out of her mind.

"Lexa, you know what I mean.". The actress shook her head.

"No, I don't." she said, throwing the papers to the ground. She rushed out of the trailer and started running. Tears tarnished her sight, but she didn't care.

"Watch out!" someone cried. Lexa found herself on the ground, sore. She looked up. In front of her Clarke was looking at her, worried.

"Lex, hey." she whispered, laying her own hand on her cheek. In response, Lexa began to cry out loud. Clarke pulled her to herself, making her rest her head on her own lap. She didn't ask her what was going on. She didn't press her to explain to her what made her so sad. She just stood there, with her, until she calmed down.

"Do you feel better?" she asked her after several minutes. Lexa nodded.

"Now I do." she answered. She looked up. Her emerald eyes crossed Clarke's blue ones. The blonde smiled at her, caressing her hair. Lexa had never felt that way, safe. No, not even with Costia.